Real IFS Therapy Session: "Sophia" - Internal Family Systems Therapy Demo
Real IFS Therapy Session: "Sophia" - Internal Family Systems Therapy Demo
In this intense episode of Going Inside: Healing Trauma From the Inside Out, we journey alongside my client “Sophia” as we bravely explore her parts through Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy. I help Sophia work towards healing her binge eating disorder by reconnecting with fragmented parts of herself.
Key Topics Discussed:
Connecting with Multiple Parts
Sophia engages with different parts, navigating feelings of abandonment and unmet needs from her past. I guide her through acknowledging and comforting these parts, fostering a sense of safety and validation.
Healing Through Connection
Sophia discovers how offering unconditional acceptance to her inner parts allows for healing and integration.
Support From Spirit Guides
Sophia welcomes a maternal figure, what seems to be a spirit guide, into her inner world. This guide supports Sophia in nurturing and caring for one of her parts, symbolizing the presence of wisdom and protection in her healing process.
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Interview Transcript:
[00:00:00] Sophia: That part is the destructive part. It wants to go out and just like go clubbing and do a lot of drugs and so called have fun, but just not being responsible.
[00:00:13] John: Can you ask the part, what's fun about being destructive, about going out and partying?
[00:00:18] Sophia: Well, it's a sense of being in control. Like at least I can steer my mood to be happy.
[00:00:28] John: Does that make sense to you?
[00:00:29] Sophia: Yeah, a lot.[00:00:30]
[00:00:36] John: Going Inside is a podcast on a mission to help people heal from trauma and reconnect with their authentic self. Join me, trauma therapist John Clarke, for guest interviews, real life therapy sessions, and soothing guided meditations. Whether you're navigating your own trauma, helping others heal from trauma, or simply yearning for a deeper understanding of yourself, Going Inside is your companion on the path to healing and self discovery.[00:01:00]
[00:01:00] John: Download free guided meditations and apply to work with me one on one at johnclarketherapy.com. Thanks for being here. Let's dive in. Hey everyone. Welcome back. I just wanted to give a little preface for today's IFS demo. A little bit of what you're going to see in this demo is we're working with a number of parts, a protector, a firefighter to be to be precise.
[00:01:23] John: We are, Kind of negotiating with protectors as we also work with an exile, [00:01:30] you'll see an unburdening in this session. You'll also see there's a place where the client got a little bit stuck and was struggling to generate enough self energy to help her exile. And so we recruited the help of what you could call a spirit guide or something along those lines.
[00:01:47] John: So you'll see that in here as well. As well as like a set up and unburdening. So as always, a disclaimer is please do not attempt this work unless you are a licensed therapist or [00:02:00] a practitioner of another kind who has been formally trained in IFS under supervision, and you have an idea of what you're doing.
[00:02:07] John: The people that have volunteered for these demos have been doing their own therapy work and meditation and on their healing journeys. So those tend to be the type of people who volunteer that often means that their system is more open and ready. They know about the model. So the speed at which we're working here is not a realistic speed for regular clinical work.
[00:02:27] John: So I just wanted to say that. as [00:02:30] well. So yeah, I hope you enjoy this session. I always want to hear your thoughts, feedback. So if you're on YouTube, leave them in the comments. If you feel like it, you can email me john at johnClarketherapy. com and I always love to hear from you all. So yeah, enjoy the session and I'll see you soon.
[00:02:47] John: Thank you again for doing this. And we were just chatting a little bit before hitting record. So for the folks listening we were chatting and I've gotten a little bit of background, a little bit of history information about other types [00:03:00] of therapies you've, you've received. So that was really helpful.
[00:03:03] John: And but that being said, Yeah. Where, what do you want to work on today?
[00:03:09] Sophia: I would like to work on my binge eating disorder. So addiction to food.
[00:03:18] John: Great. Okay. Tell me more about that. Just start talking about it. And as you talk about it, I also want you to notice what develops inside feelings, [00:03:30] sensations, something shifting in your body images.
[00:03:34] John: Yeah, let's just see what happens.
[00:03:37] Sophia: Yeah, so it all started when I was together with my ex partner and he was quite controlling and had a lot of opinions on everything I did, so especially on like food, that I ate too expensive food or that I ate food that wasn't good for me. [00:04:00] And especially sugar.
[00:04:02] Sophia: Like every time I ate sugar, he was really, really bullying me. So I was like, in the end, I just started to eat specific foods outside of the apartment because I was too hungry. Because I was so scared that if I eat it inside, he's going to comment on me so much. And the food also became a way to handle, like, all his comments [00:04:30] about how I was working out, what I was doing on my free time, people I was spending time with.
[00:04:37] Sophia: It was just like a resort that I could at least open the refrigerator yeah.
[00:04:45] John: Okay, yeah, so you just took a big breath there. What's happening in your body?
[00:04:53] Sophia: My body just feels like it's, it wants to cry because it's holding on to so much [00:05:00] anxiety.
[00:05:00] John: Yeah.
[00:05:04] John: Yeah. Is it okay if we go toward that, that feeling, if we go toward that anxiety or let it develop a bit?
[00:05:12] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:05:14] John: Let's see what happens when you do that.
[00:05:20] Sophia: Oh, well it's like it's, The anxiety is saying, well, no, no, no, don't come here. Don't look here. Don't look at me.
[00:05:28] John: Yeah. Don't look at [00:05:30] me. Don't look at me.
[00:05:35] John: So I also want to give, you know, put some guardrails on what we're doing. Meaning if you have parts specifically protector parts that have concerns about us doing this session today or doing it in this format or having it published and other people seeing it, definitely listen to those and check with those parts first.
[00:05:56] John: before we go a little further. [00:06:00]
[00:06:00] Sophia: Yeah, of course.
[00:06:04] John: Yeah. So see, see what happens when you do that. You might even just kind of go inside and close your eyes if you want to just ask, Hey, do any parts have concerns right now about us going further?
[00:06:24] Sophia: A lot of parts are just screaming help, like they are drowning.
[00:06:28] John: Yeah. [00:06:30] Okay. All right. And how are you feeling toward them?
[00:06:33] Sophia: There's a feeling towards them that are just like, Oh, hush. Don't. Don't make such a big fuss. Just be quiet, suck it up.
[00:06:46] John: Can you turn toward the part that says, Oh, be quiet. You're just making a big fuss. Suck it up.[00:07:00]
[00:07:10] Sophia: And it's also ashamed because it's, it knows it is doing the wrong thing.
[00:07:17] John: Okay. It's angry, but it's also ashamed. Yeah. Okay. And how do you experience this part? What does it look like? Sound like? Do you get any particular [00:07:30] image or sensation in your body? Of course it looks
[00:07:40] Sophia: like my father. It's like his voice.
[00:07:47] Sophia: Yeah, it just looks like him with an angry face. It feels like he's gonna become violent towards me.
[00:07:55] John: Okay. All right. Meaning in this moment that he [00:08:00] might do that?
[00:08:02] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:08:04] John: All right. So do me a favor and just either ask him for a little space or you could contain yourself in a bubble of white light or you and, or you could contain him. And a similar bubble, or even in a more sturdy structure, like a room.[00:08:30]
[00:08:36] Sophia: I'm, I'm so afraid of him that I'm not, I'm afraid to ask him to sit down. So maybe I will put myself in like another room or in a bubble.
[00:08:52] John: That's a, that sounds like a good idea. Yeah. So you can create that space or take that space for yourself. [00:09:00] And we can worry later about asking him for that space, knowing that that might not go well.
[00:09:11] John: Okay,
[00:09:16] John: okay. A couple technical difficulties here with our sound, but we're gonna pick back up. You mentioned, yeah, seeing this part that looks like this father figure, it looks like your father. So we were just about to try to create a little bit of [00:09:30] space or create a little bit of protection for you. So you might try to do that now and just see how it goes.
[00:09:43] Sophia: Yeah, I can, I can put myself in another room.
[00:09:56] John: See how, just see how that goes and see if you can get a little bit [00:10:00] curious about what's happening with you in another room with just encountering this part that looks like dad.
[00:10:09] Sophia: How do you mean? Like I'm in one room and then what will I encounter?
[00:10:16] John: Well let's clarify a little bit what you're seeing in that room.
[00:10:22] John: Are you seeing a part of you or does it look like you today?
[00:10:28] Sophia: You mean the self [00:10:30] or the one who's screaming for help?
[00:10:34] John: Yeah, just trying to clarify which one you've put in the room.
[00:10:38] Sophia: That is the self.
[00:10:41] John: Okay, all right. So how does it feel to have self in that room?
[00:10:50] Sophia: Well, it feels like I should be out there defending my exile, my inner child from my father. [00:11:00] Feels like I'm hiding.
[00:11:03] John: You might check and see if it's a part that's hiding, a part that retreated from dad and was scared of dad just now.
[00:11:17] Sophia: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. All
[00:11:25] John: right. So then turn toward the part that's scared and check in and see how you're feeling toward [00:11:30] it.
[00:11:35] Sophia: I'm disgusted by it. Like it's so weak.
[00:11:46] John: All right. So we have a part that's scared. We have a part that's disgusted by the one that's scared, right? These are both parts. Which one do you want to work with?
[00:11:55] Sophia: The scared one. [00:12:00]
[00:12:00] John: Can you do me a favor to ask the disgusted one if it's okay to work with the scared one?
[00:12:13] Sophia: If I do it like carefully, take it easy with it because it's really fragile.
[00:12:19] John: Okay. Welcome back. We, we had a couple of technical difficulties, so we kind of started our session and then had some technical difficulties. So we're going to try to [00:12:30] start again and to catch people up. What we did so far was we went inside and you heard and saw lots of parts screaming for help.
[00:12:41] John: And then we encountered a part that looks like your dad. And then we encountered two parts, a scared part, and then a part that's disgusted with the scared part. Maybe just check inside and see who's there now. And you might even just ask who most needs my help right now. [00:13:00] And see if you get an answer.
[00:13:02] John: See if you can let the parts tell you.
[00:13:05] Sophia: And the scared one is really at the top of everything just screaming.
[00:13:10] John: Okay. Okay. What does that one look like? Sound like,
[00:13:17] Sophia: well, she is like six years old. Just like reach reaching up with her hands towards some adult safe person. We're really scared crying.
[00:13:29] John: Okay. How are you [00:13:30] feeling toward her?
[00:13:31] Sophia: Angry that she couldn't, that she can't behave better. A bit disgusted.
[00:13:37] John: Okay, all right. Can you offer her an object to keep her a little more comfortable for a second while we go and address the disgusted one and work with the disgusted one? So you could offer her a blanket, a stuffed animal, You could even have someone else be [00:14:00] with her for a moment.
[00:14:07] Sophia: Yeah. I can offer her like like a bouquet of flowers because she really likes flowers and nature.
[00:14:16] John: Great. Yeah. Offer her those flowers. See how she reacts.
[00:14:23] Sophia: It feels like she's getting soul food.
[00:14:27] John: Yeah.
[00:14:29] Sophia: Like [00:14:30] first time someone ever gave her something genuinely.
[00:14:35] John: Okay. Yeah. That's a big deal. Yeah. Let her take that in and just notice how it is for you to see her taking that in, receiving something for the first time, something that she really loves.
[00:14:58] Sophia: Well, it's big. It's [00:15:00] like she's saying, yeah, but of course it is, this is what I'm worth. I'm worthy of love.
[00:15:09] John: Yeah, so it, yeah, it makes sense to her. She's ready to receive that.
[00:15:14] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:15:15] John: Yeah. Okay. Can you ask her just to hang tight with her flowers for a second while we address the disgusted one?[00:15:30]
[00:15:32] Sophia: Yeah, she's all right. She's like a bit scared that no one will come back, but she's all right with it.
[00:15:41] John: Can you let her know that you'll come back? You'll be right back in a few minutes. Look her right in the eye and make sure she hears that from you.
[00:15:55] Sophia: Yeah, now she's calm.
[00:15:58] John: Okay, great. [00:16:00] Okay, so turn toward the disgusted one. Check how you're seeing, check and see how you're feeling toward that one.
[00:16:16] Sophia: I feel like, oh my god, you need so much help.
[00:16:21] John: Yeah, yeah. Do you get a sense for what kind of help this part needs or what you could offer it?[00:16:30]
[00:16:34] Sophia: Well, this part needs love because it has never been seen.
[00:16:39] John: Okay. Are you able to send it some love right now and see how it reacts?
[00:16:59] Sophia: [00:17:00] Yeah, it kind of laughs a little bit and it's like, yeah, relaxes a bit, but it's like it's being tickled and like, Oh, what is this? It feels kind of fun, but also kind of scary.
[00:17:16] John: Yeah. This is different for this part. Can you ask this part how old it is?
[00:17:26] Sophia: Thirteen.
[00:17:27] John: Thirteen. Yeah. Can you ask it how [00:17:30] old it thinks you are?
[00:17:35] Sophia: Thirty two. And yeah, that's my real age.
[00:17:43] John: Can you ask it more about its disgust with, with the girl, with the little girl? What that's about? What could be good about feeling disgusted with her?[00:18:00]
[00:18:02] Sophia: Well, if, if it feels disgusted, it doesn't have to look at her and then she doesn't have to feel the pain.
[00:18:13] John: Oh, okay. Yeah. Does that make sense to you?
[00:18:22] Sophia: Yeah. Yeah. I never thought of it that way, but I guess it could be a defense mechanism[00:18:30]
[00:18:32] Sophia: to be disgusted. Can you ask the,
[00:18:34] John: yeah. Yeah. Can you ask the part to tell you more about what it fears would happen if she felt more of the pain? if she was allowed to feel more of the pain.
[00:18:50] Sophia: It would feel like she would like explode and all of the parts of her would just [00:19:00] Disappear in space and she would not exist anymore.
[00:19:05] John: Okay. Yeah. So this part really wants to make sure that doesn't happen.
[00:19:10] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:19:12] John: Yeah. Can you just let the part know that you get that?
[00:19:28] John: Does this part want to tell you more [00:19:30] about its job or how it got this job of worrying about the little one?
[00:19:37] Sophia: Yeah, because no one else was caring about the little one. So she had to do it for everyone, for the whole family. Okay. She had to raise the little one on her own.
[00:19:53] John: Wow, that sounds like a big deal.
[00:19:58] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:19:58] John: Yeah, so notice she [00:20:00] just took another big breath. What's happening in the body?
[00:20:11] Sophia: Yeah, this, these are the parts that I've been wanting to address in therapy, but it hasn't been able to do that, so. Yeah. Yeah, she's tired.
[00:20:29] John: [00:20:30] Oh.
[00:20:30] Sophia: Tired of having to raise a kid.
[00:20:34] John: Yeah, I bet. Is she interested in sharing that responsibility with you or handing over that responsibility entirely today? Or even part of it?
[00:20:52] Sophia: Yeah, she's so fed up with it. She's like, I'm walking out the door any, any minute.
[00:20:59] John: Okay. [00:21:00] Please
[00:21:00] Sophia: take over.
[00:21:01] John: Is that okay with you?
[00:21:07] Sophia: Yeah, I'm also scared of taking over the responsibility.
[00:21:14] John: What are you scared of?
[00:21:20] Sophia: That I might kill her,
[00:21:27] Sophia: you know?
[00:21:29] John: Yeah, I [00:21:30] get that.
[00:21:32] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:21:35] John: At least when, when we're working on this together, I'm going to help make sure that doesn't happen. And we're going to make sure we keep everyone safe.
[00:21:49] Sophia: Yeah, yeah, it's more metaphorically. It's not like I would actually do it. It's just a fear. Yeah.
[00:21:58] John: Fear of screwing it up [00:22:00] or hurting her.
[00:22:02] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:22:03] John: Yeah.
[00:22:09] John: So this part that's discussed, that was disgusted or just wants to run away and doesn't want to have to take care of the little girl. Ask the part if there's somewhere it would rather go now or something else it would rather do in your system or does it want to come with us back to the little girl and her Or [00:22:30] does it want us just to handle it?
[00:22:36] Sophia: Well, that part is
[00:22:38] Sophia: is the destructive part. It wants to go out and just like go clubbing and do a lot of drugs and so called have fun. But Just not being responsible.
[00:22:54] John: Okay. Yeah. Can you ask the part? What's fun about being [00:23:00] destructive about going out and partying? What is it like about that?
[00:23:15] Sophia: Well, it's a sense of being in control.
[00:23:20] John: Oh
[00:23:23] Sophia: Yeah, like at least I can Steer my mood [00:23:30] to be happy in this situation.
[00:23:36] John: So it makes sense to you.
[00:23:39] Sophia: Yeah a lot It's the rebel
[00:23:41] John: that makes sense Yeah, let the partner you get that that it's a rub and because she's been made to feel so out of control at times It makes sense that she takes back control in this way.
[00:23:57] John: Sometimes even if it's also destructive[00:24:00]
[00:24:03] John: taking her power back
[00:24:12] John: She can do this privately if you want. Can you ask her to tell you about when she lost her power? at
[00:24:20] Sophia: 13
[00:24:28] Sophia: also [00:24:30]
[00:24:30] John: Yeah, can she tell you about what happened around then and can she, you can share it with me if you want, or she can just tell you privately.
[00:24:42] Sophia: Oh, well it was, oh, when I, for the first time met a guy and it was the first guy that I kissed and I decided to have sex with him at that [00:25:00] age
[00:25:00] Sophia: and then he cheated on me and I was devastated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:25:09] John: Yeah.
[00:25:10] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:25:16] John: Are you seeing her in any particular scene? Is she back there at that time with this guy or is she alone in her room? Where is she exactly?[00:25:30]
[00:25:34] Sophia: She is alone in her room and there's like a, a black hole, like in her soul. Like some, something was ripped out. Okay.
[00:25:46] John: Okay.
[00:25:47] Sophia: From this. situation with the guy.
[00:25:51] John: Okay. How are you feeling toward her?[00:26:00]
[00:26:01] Sophia: Disgusted that she couldn't take better care for herself or respect herself.
[00:26:08] John: Okay. Yeah. So you can turn toward the disgusted part, whichever one that is. You might just ask it for a little space here so that we have some space to help these parts. We're just looking to help you grow a little [00:26:30] curiosity and compassion inside so you can bring that to your parts.
[00:26:35] John: And in order to do that, we might need some space from the disgusted part.
[00:26:46] Sophia: Yeah. It says like, oh, sorry. Yeah. Go ahead.
[00:26:50] John: Okay. Think that part. Yeah. Just say thanks to that part.
[00:26:56] Sophia: And then
[00:26:57] John: I want you to see if you can step into that [00:27:00] bedroom with that 13 year old and that, that black hole in her chest. And I want you just to make her aware of you.
[00:27:18] Sophia: Yeah. She's like looking at me like, Oh mom, reaching her arms towards me.
[00:27:26] John: Yeah. Is it okay to go toward her?[00:27:30]
[00:27:32] Sophia: Yeah. For me it is. She's a bit afraid, but yeah.
[00:27:36] John: Maybe in that case, let her come to you. Just show her that you're open or maybe you have your arms open and just let her come to you. She can get as close as she wants. No more, no less.
[00:27:55] Sophia: Yeah. She's like crying at my, lying on the floor [00:28:00] crying, but like holding my feet or my legs.
[00:28:04] John: Yeah. Right. How are you feeling toward her now?
[00:28:14] Sophia: Well, I want her to grow up to be the amazing woman she's supposed to be.
[00:28:24] Sophia: So I want to see her rise.
[00:28:27] John: Okay. Yeah. [00:28:30] Yeah, and I get, and yet she doesn't know right now if she's going to get through this or how she's going to make it through this. So on one hand, yeah, you want to help her through this or see her rise above this. Maybe for now, just see what it's like just to be with her in her sadness and her anxiety with that black hole in her chest.
[00:28:58] John: See what it's like just to be there for [00:29:00] her, offering some comfort.
[00:29:24] Sophia: Yeah, this is like where I feel stuck even today, like, she's [00:29:30] so confused, like, Didn't I get love? Am I not worthy? What should I do? So much anxiety.
[00:29:38] John: Yeah. And are you feeling some of that anxiety too or is it hers?
[00:29:51] Sophia: I'm feeling it too.
[00:29:55] John: Just create a little bit of space between you and her, like conversational [00:30:00] distance, like a few feet of space
[00:30:07] John: and see how that changes just seeing that you're, she's part of you, but you're also separate from her.
[00:30:18] Sophia: Well, now she says Thank you. Did I step back?
[00:30:23] John: Okay, so she, yeah, she likes a little bit of space to[00:30:30]
[00:30:32] John: can she talk to you a little bit about what happened with the boy again? This could be private between you two.
[00:30:44] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:30:45] John: Does she need your help with that? Does she need your help understanding what happened or processing her feelings about it?
[00:30:57] Sophia: Yeah, she does.
[00:30:59] John: [00:31:00] Yeah. See if you can help her with that.
[00:31:17] Sophia: Yeah. It's about her worth. She didn't feel respected in the situation with him.
[00:31:24] John: Yeah. Does that make sense to you?
[00:31:29] Sophia: [00:31:30] Yeah. A lot.
[00:31:31] John: Yeah. Let her know that makes sense. Just be there with her validating. That feeling of not being respected.
[00:31:45] Sophia: Yeah. She believes she's not worthy of love after what happened.
[00:31:55] John: Do you agree with that?[00:32:00]
[00:32:01] Sophia: No, she's just as worthy as anyone.
[00:32:05] John: Okay. So let her know, see how much of that she can take in that she's just as worthy of as anyone. Just as worthy of love.
[00:32:23] Sophia: Now it feels like she also had some, got some flowers inside her chest,[00:32:30]
[00:32:33] John: some love. Where did she get those?
[00:32:42] Sophia: I gave them to her.
[00:32:45] John: Yeah.
[00:32:50] John: Check in with your body for a second. Let me know what you notice.
[00:32:54] Sophia: There's a lot going on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like [00:33:00] kind
[00:33:06] Sophia: of reaching over the surface. Like maybe there is It's more air. I can not just have my nose above the water, I can maybe have my head above the water.
[00:33:18] John: Yeah, yeah, some hope that all this could actually be healed,
[00:33:26] Sophia: which
[00:33:26] John: it can and it will be. [00:33:30] Let your parts know that. Just shout that inside, that help is on the way.
[00:33:37] John: Today's just the beginning.
[00:33:46] Sophia: Yeah, it's like it's raining flowers over all of them. That's really nice.
[00:33:51] John: Beautiful.
[00:33:52] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:33:55] John: Just let that feeling develop.[00:34:00]
[00:34:03] John: Yeah.
[00:34:06] Sophia: Yeah. It's like all of them are like catching a flower from the sky and like holding onto it just like, Oh, I need to hold onto this hope.
[00:34:17] John: Yeah.
[00:34:21] John: Yeah. Beautiful.[00:34:30]
[00:34:32] John: This is a lot.
[00:34:41] Sophia: Yeah. Cause they, they really want it to go well for me. Like. The rebel didn't, the rebel didn't mean to be so destructive and self harm. It just [00:35:00] wanted to take control back over my life.
[00:35:05] John: That's right, that's right. Yeah, let her know that you get that. She actually didn't want to destroy your life. She was just trying to find some control, some agency.
[00:35:16] John: Yeah,
[00:35:16] Sophia: she's kind of apologizing for being, for being so wild. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:35:28] John: See if you can respond to that.[00:35:30]
[00:35:36] Sophia: Yeah, I'm thanking her for what she's done. She's brave.
[00:35:39] John: Yeah, beautiful, beautiful. Yeah, let her know she's brave. Just look her right in the eye and tell her she's brave.
[00:35:49] Sophia: Yeah, she says thank you.[00:36:00]
[00:36:01] John: Check in with your heart for a second. Just check in with the center of your chest.
[00:36:11] Sophia: There's some even a pride. Go ahead. There's pride.
[00:36:18] John: There's pride. Yeah.
[00:36:20] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:36:21] John: Yeah. Great. Let that, let that pride develop, let that pride radiate from your chest and share it with your [00:36:30] parts.
[00:36:38] John: See if that pride has a color or texture. Yeah. What's happening?
[00:36:46] Sophia: Yeah. It's just like red and the texture is pretty rough but the parts are like really intrigued. interested, curious, and they're like [00:37:00] trying on some new clothes. Like, Oh, what is this for a kind of sweater? They're all like getting dressed in the pride.
[00:37:11] John: Yeah. Beautiful.
[00:37:15] John: Yeah. So just see yourself standing there looking through your eyes at your parts, seeing them take in that pride. Like it's trying on new, like they're trying on new clothes, seeing how this feels.[00:37:30]
[00:37:32] Sophia: Yeah, they are kids again. They're running around having fun. Not being afraid
[00:37:39] John: what a relief.
[00:37:43] Sophia: Yeah Yeah,
[00:37:51] John: I want to make sure we go back to that little girl from the beginning The one that you originally gave flowers to and just see how she's [00:38:00] doing.
[00:38:06] Sophia: She's really sad
[00:38:10] John: Okay, you ask her about the sadness.
[00:38:16] Sophia: She says like no one in this A whole house cares about me, and I have to be afraid of the ones that are taking care of me.[00:38:30]
[00:38:34] Sophia: Yeah, I need help.
[00:38:41] John: Could you be the one to take care of her from now on?
[00:38:53] Sophia: It's a big responsibility.
[00:38:57] John: Yeah.
[00:38:59] Sophia: [00:39:00] Yeah, I'm unsure if I can handle it, but I want to.
[00:39:09] John: So, one option here is to invite any guides who might be able to help you parent her, parenting her together or showing you how to parent her.
[00:39:28] John: So you might just see if you can [00:39:30] invite any, any guides, any help and see if anyone shows up.
[00:39:37] Sophia: Yeah. There's like a a big picture of like a wolf, like the wolf mother.
[00:39:49] John: Yeah. She wants to help.
[00:39:54] John: Yeah.
[00:39:59] Sophia: [00:40:00] Yeah. Yeah. She's like, Okay, I'm taking over. Let's go.
[00:40:09] John: Okay. How is that for you?
[00:40:14] Sophia: Well, it's like the, it's like the grandmother that I've always wanted someone really strong and really wise.
[00:40:27] John: Yeah.
[00:40:29] Sophia: [00:40:30] And I put a lot of pride, I put a lot of pride to raise myself on my own, but yeah, I can't do it. I need help.
[00:40:42] John: Yeah. Let's see how it is to have that help now and bring, bring that help. to the little girl. So just see you and this new guide standing in front of the little girl.[00:41:00]
[00:41:08] Sophia: It's like they're falling in love, the little girl and the wolf mother.
[00:41:19] John: Yeah, so just notice that, let that develop.[00:41:30]
[00:41:30] Sophia: And the wolf is like transforming into some human arms. Like, picking the child up and then it's like pulling it in towards me, like, like I am the wolf. Yeah.
[00:41:52] John: Yeah. Okay. It
[00:41:55] Sophia: helps me to pick up the child and hold it. [00:42:00]
[00:42:00] John: Great. Yeah. Notice how that's happening in your body too. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. Let that feeling come. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:42:15] Sophia: It feels really awesome to be able to take care of myself and hold myself with[00:42:30]
[00:42:39] Sophia: so much pride
[00:42:52] Sophia: and feeling like no one is ever going to hurt this child ever again. [00:43:00]
[00:43:00] John: Yeah, let her know that. Look her right in the eye and let her know that.
[00:43:16] John: Can you ask the little girl if She needs your help with something from back then, or wherever she is in time, or if she is interested in coming into the present with you.[00:43:30]
[00:43:41] Sophia: She says like I want to take my, my, my stuff and go with you. Let me just take my stuff.
[00:43:51] John: Okay. Is that okay with you?
[00:43:55] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:43:58] John: All right. So help her [00:44:00] gather her belongings,
[00:44:05] John: make sure she gets everything.[00:44:30]
[00:44:35] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:44:39] Sophia: It's like she wants to take her cuddle animal, but then she also wants to take along with her all the real animals, like all the cats and the dog.
[00:44:51] John: Yeah. Is that okay?
[00:44:55] Sophia: Yeah. I love animals.
[00:44:59] John: Yeah. So let her bring [00:45:00] all those, both her stuffed animals and her real ones.
[00:45:14] John: Yeah, and then if she's ready, you can walk with her all the way into the present, into your life today, into that room that you're in if you want, or somewhere imaginary, somewhere outside, somewhere in your body, maybe [00:45:30] just let her pick.
[00:45:39] Sophia: Well, it's like she forgot something, she needs to bring something else as well in the, in the garden. Okay. She[00:46:00]
[00:46:01] Sophia: just wants to say goodbye. Because there were some some cats that passed away. And also when our dog died, they were buried in the garden. So she wants to say goodbye to them.
[00:46:17] John: Yeah. So be there with her as she does that.[00:46:30]
[00:46:54] Sophia: It's like, she doesn't really want to leave yet. She's like looking up at the balcony from [00:47:00] the garden and like I'm not sure.
[00:47:02] John: Okay, then let her know she doesn't have to leave yet, and we can come, we can come back another time.
[00:47:14] John: For now, it might be important for her to stay,
[00:47:21] John: and you might just see how you can make her more comfortable if she stays, whether that's leaving her with something, or [00:47:30] someone, or with that mother wolf. Whatever needs to happen for her to be a little more okay where she is.
[00:47:46] Sophia: It feels like she wants to go up on the balcony and just be there.
[00:47:54] John: Right.
[00:47:56] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:47:58] John: Yeah. So take her there.[00:48:00]
[00:48:17] Sophia: Yeah. She feels safe there. She is looking at the clouds. It's a safe space.[00:48:30]
[00:48:31] John: Yeah, beautiful.
[00:48:38] John: So we've got a few minutes left, so I want you to let her know that soon you've got to go. If it makes sense to you, let her know that you'll be back and that you're not going to forget about her.
[00:48:57] John: Just check one more time, see what else she needs [00:49:00] before you go.
[00:49:11] Sophia: Yeah, I let her know that I will come back, and that's for sure. She, she says she just needs food, some food to survive.
[00:49:24] John: Okay.
[00:49:26] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:49:27] John: Yeah. So see if you can offer her food. [00:49:30] Make sure she has enough.
[00:49:45] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:49:49] Sophia: Yeah. It's like visually putting a refrigerator on the balcony that's full of food, so she has whatever she needs.
[00:49:58] John: Good idea.[00:50:00]
[00:50:03] John: Yeah. So if it feels okay, I want you to come back and check in with her each day for the next few weeks. Just go see if she's still there on the balcony with her animals, with her refrigerator, if she has enough to eat. And we're just going to build off of that.
[00:50:26] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:50:29] John: [00:50:30] Also want you to think, think that guide, that mother wolf figure that came to think that guide for, for their help.
[00:50:44] Sophia: Yeah.
[00:50:46] John: Yeah. And if you want to be able to call on them beyond today, you might just ask if that's okay and invite that guidance into your life.[00:51:00]
[00:51:07] Sophia: Yeah, she's like I'm already here. I'm here.
[00:51:10] John: Great.
[00:51:14] John: Great.
[00:51:23] John: I'm gonna hit stop on the recording. We can debrief a little bit. Thank you so much for doing this. [00:51:30]
[00:51:30] Sophia: Yeah. Thank you. It was wonderful.
[00:51:35] John: You're very welcome
[00:51:39] John: Thanks for listening to another episode of going inside If you enjoyed this episode, please like and subscribe wherever you're listening or watching and share your favorite episode with a friend You can follow me on TikTok @JohnClarkeTherapy and apply to work with me one on one at johnclarketherapy.com. See you next time.
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