Real IFS Therapy Session with "Cece" - Internal Family Systems Demo
Real IFS Therapy Session with "Cece" - Internal Family Systems Demo
In this episode of Going Inside: Healing Trauma From the Inside Out, I guide my client “Cece,” a breathwork facilitator, through a live Internal Family Systems therapy session. Together, we explore her feelings of helplessness, a maternal-like protective part, and the connections between them. Cece’s courage and self-awareness bring valuable insights into her journey of healing and self-compassion.
Cece identifies a helpless part tied to childhood trauma, visualized as a young girl who had been confined to a bathroom.
A maternal-like protector emerges, expressing doubt about Cece’s ability to care for her inner child, reflecting internalized self-criticism.
Through compassion and reassurance, Cece builds trust with her younger self, allowing for freedom, joy, and a deeper sense of connection.
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Interview Transcript:
[00:00:00] Cece: This helpless part is always hiding in in a bathroom.
[00:00:05] John: Yeah.
[00:00:05] Cece: It looks like when I was a young girl, super young, around six, five, six years old. And I, the part is always like curling and like doing this, sit down on the ground and to the corner of the bathroom, which happened to me before. And and two days ago I set this part free from the bathroom.
[00:00:31] Cece: Now, if I tune in, I can still sense you at this part. And it is out of the bathroom already, but I cannot see clearly where she is right now, the little girl.
[00:00:42] John: Is she in a particular place or room or time and place?
[00:00:48] Cece: I cannot see the environment, but I know still that she is not safe.
[00:00:55] John: Going Inside is a podcast on a mission to help people heal from trauma and [00:01:00] reconnect with their authentic self. Join me, trauma therapist, John Clarke, for guest interviews, real life therapy sessions, and soothing guided meditations. Whether you're navigating your own trauma, helping others heal from trauma, or simply yearning for a deeper understanding of yourself, going inside is your companion on the path to healing and self discovery.
[00:01:21] John: Download free guided meditations and apply to work with me one on one at johnClarketherapy. com. Thanks for being here. Let's dive in. Okay, folks, we're back with another demo today. I have a gracious volunteer who's been reached out and said they've been listening to the show and would be happy to be a participant.
[00:01:40] John: And so thank you so much for doing this. And we talked a little bit before I hit record here, but just, yeah, let me know anything that You want to start with?
[00:01:50] Cece: I want to start with my, a feeling of helpless, helplessness in my body. It happens to me very often and holding me back and also want me to [00:02:00] hide.
[00:02:01] Cece: And I've been doing some kind of IFS meditation already. So yeah, I already have some experience.
[00:02:09] John: Yeah, good. So we can definitely work on the helplessness today. If you want let me know if the helplessness feels alive right now, or if there's something else that feels even more alive or more pressing inside.
[00:02:34] Cece: Not so much helplessness today, but I feel a tension in my lower belly.
[00:02:39] John: Okay.
[00:02:44] John: So see what happens if you just focus in on that tension in your lower belly. And if you just shift into a posture of just listening, you mentioned you
[00:02:56] John: work
[00:02:56] John: very
[00:02:58] John: [00:03:00] somatically. You're also a breath worker. You might practice listening with your hands and just see if you can start to hear from many parts.
[00:03:12] John: You might even just let them know that you're open to hearing from them in this moment.
[00:03:49] Cece: There's a tension, tightness in my navel and now can feel also in my stomach area and all the way pulling from my heart. So this front line here [00:04:00] is tight. And this body sensation happens to me very often, especially when I feel helpless or I want to really hide in a small place. And yeah.
[00:04:16] John: So maybe ask inside if there's any parts that want to hide right now.
[00:04:21] John: You might also just acknowledge inside.
[00:04:27] John: And if you're not already, you might. Choose to do this in your native language, whatever feels right,
[00:04:35] John: but just acknowledge inside for all parts that it's actually okay to hide, especially in this setting of doing a demo. That's going to be online. We don't want to discourage the hiding if it's happening for good reason. Whether that reason is now or and or historical
[00:04:59] John: [00:05:00] and also keep in mind in this demo parts can also share with you Things privately so you don't necessarily have to yeah share them with me as well As long as you're clear on what you're getting that's all we need.
[00:05:42] Cece: There's a part saying I don't want to do this
[00:05:50] John: Good. It's a voice. Yeah. Let's focus on that part, that voice that, that says, I don't want to do this.[00:06:00]
[00:06:02] John: See if you can gently ask for the part to tell you more about why it doesn't want to do this or what could be bad about
[00:06:09] doing this.
[00:06:50] Cece: there's body sensations now happening in my heart center. It feels like sadness, and the voice is saying nobody really cares. [00:07:00]
[00:07:01] John: Okay, is that true?
[00:07:04] Cece: That's pretty much how I feel, actually, from my past experience. Yes. Yes. Okay.
[00:07:11] John: What about right now in this moment? Do you care about this part?
[00:07:16] Cece: Yes.
[00:07:18] John: How could you let it know? So does your cat. Yeah. How could you let it know?
[00:07:24] Cece: And I just want to give myself a squeeze hug.
[00:07:56] John: Yeah.
[00:07:57] John: See if that part of you can feel that [00:08:00] squeeze hug.
[00:08:04] John: See if you can send that squeeze to that part.
[00:08:25] Cece: I guess, yes. feeling in my heart centers often and I really want to cry.
[00:08:33] John: Would that be okay?
[00:08:37] John: Yeah.
[00:08:41] John: What else do you know about this part? How do you experience it? Does it, you get a visual, is it like a voice, a sensation, both?
[00:08:53] Cece: Normally I'm quite a visual person, but today I only hear voice and body sensations.
[00:08:59] John: Yeah. [00:09:00]
[00:09:00] Cece: And just got softened. Can
[00:09:04] John: you tell me more about what it sounds like? How do you know that it's,
[00:09:11] Cece: It's just a voice and just a one sentence and that's finished.
[00:09:18] John: Yeah. Okay.
[00:09:22] John: Could you ask the part if it could give you a visual so that you can strengthen your connection with that a little more? Is this part willing to be seen by you today?
[00:09:57] John: Yeah.
[00:09:58] Cece: This helpless part [00:10:00] is always, Yeah. It looks like when I was a young girl, super young, around six, five, six years old. And I, the part is always like curling and like doing this, sit down on the ground into the corner of the bathroom, which happened to me before. And
[00:10:24] Cece: and two days ago, I set this part free from the bathroom. Now, if I tune in, I can still sense that it's the part. And it is out of the bathroom already, but I cannot see clearly where she is right now, the little girl.
[00:10:41] John: Okay, so this is a part that you unburdened on your own, you know she's out of that bathroom but not quite sure where she is now.
[00:10:58] John: Where do you see her now? Is [00:11:00] she in a particular place or room or time and place?
[00:11:23] I don't know.
[00:11:24] Cece: I'm just, I still see her like sitting like this way, but I cannot see where she is right now.
[00:11:33] John: Okay.
[00:11:34] Cece: I cannot see the environment, but I know still that she is not sick.
[00:11:38] John: I see. Okay. Can you ask inside? If any protectors have concerns with the fact that you took her out of there the other day, or the fact
[00:11:53] John: that you're trying to help her.[00:12:00]
[00:12:07] Cece: I feel there's a part that I cannot see her again. I don't know why today, but it feels like my mom.
[00:12:13] John: Yeah.
[00:12:14] Cece: That has to concern that I cannot take good care of myself as a young girl.
[00:12:19] John: Oh, I see. I see. So this part that is like your mom. Doesn't trust that you can take care of the girl in the bathroom?
[00:12:32] John: Okay how true does that feel that you're incapable of caring for that little girl?[00:13:00]
[00:13:06] Cece: I don't know. I'm not sure. Sounds quite true to me.
[00:13:10] John: Yeah.
[00:13:15] John: So it might be a little blended with another part that says, Hey, you're not capable of taking care of this little girl, right? So maybe just focus on creating a tiny bit of separation right now between you and all your
[00:13:37] John: So you could imagine breathing a little space in between you and your parts, asking for it directly, inviting them to sit around you in a circle, whatever works.[00:14:00]
[00:14:05] Cece: Yeah,
[00:14:08] Cece: and I see the little girl is still curling, like sitting down on the floor and with her face down in her shoulders, and I see a mom like part sitting high on a chair and looking to her.
[00:14:26] John: Okay, I see. Could you walk into that scene and make them both aware of you? The mom like part and the little girl?
[00:14:35] John: Have them turn and look at you and take you in?
[00:14:41] Cece: Yes.
[00:14:43] John: How is that for all of you?[00:15:00]
[00:15:43] Cece: In the beginning, it is okay that there's two parts and sense my presence, but then I can feel there is a self dealt part coming in.
[00:15:56] John: Yeah.
[00:15:58] Cece: Yeah. [00:16:00]
[00:16:01] John: Could you have that one turned toward you as well and just check you out?
[00:16:50] Cece: Not really. I feel this part is scared of my mom.
[00:16:55] John: Yeah.
[00:16:57] Cece: Right now in my body.
[00:16:59] John: Yeah.[00:17:00]
[00:17:04] John: And how are you feeling toward that part that looks like your mom?
[00:17:25] Cece: She's so tall and big for me right now. And I cannot see her face, but I feel she's so serious.
[00:17:33] John: Yeah.
[00:17:35] Cece: And yeah.
[00:17:37] John: Okay. Can you ask her how old she is and wait till you get an answer?
[00:17:45] Cece: My mom card?
[00:17:46] John: Yeah.
[00:17:55] Cece: 23.
[00:17:56] John: 23. Okay. How does that land [00:18:00] with you?
[00:18:02] Cece: It doesn't make any sense to me Because I think my mom, helped me when she's 25, which is interesting Yeah,
[00:18:10] John: It doesn't yeah, it doesn't have to make logical sense here, but my sense is yeah She's younger than maybe you've imagined
[00:18:17] Cece: And
[00:18:19] John: can you ask her how old she thinks you are?
[00:18:22] Cece: All
[00:18:23] John: Okay She thinks you're five Go ahead and let her know that you're not five and see if she can physically see you as you are today You At your current age and how you are today, physically,
[00:18:52] John: just notice how she reacts.[00:19:00]
[00:19:01] Cece: No, she can't. For me now, she's like a very giant stone, like statue and he's, her face is above the cloud and I was super small and tiny.
[00:19:16] John: Okay.
[00:19:20] John: So what could help here is. If we just practice generating a little curiosity and compassion inside or like in your heart toward this part that looks like mom or this part that's become like a statue and that might be all we do today is just hang out there seeing if we can soften a little bit toward her as a way of maybe starting to heal that relationship a little bit.
[00:19:59] John: Yeah, so just [00:20:00] focusing as much as you can on your own self energy as a way to build a bridge With this part that looks like mom
[00:20:14] John: and just keep you in mind that nothing needs to happen today in this Demo or because it's a demo or just try to let go of any agenda as best we can This is what needs to be happening right now. It is exactly this[00:21:00]
[00:21:02] Cece: Yeah, she can see me now. I climbed up the cloud and
[00:21:14] Cece: My mom now looks like a giant like stone Border, I don't know why But that cloud she can see me now
[00:21:27] John: Yeah, now that she can see you maybe just ask her Is there anything she wants you to know?
[00:21:35] Cece: She said I'm always a very special kid and I do things that hurt her feelings.
[00:21:42] John: Okay, just take your time taking that in, that you're both a very special kid and you do things that hurt her feelings.[00:22:00]
[00:22:02] John: Yeah.
[00:22:23] Cece: And I feel sad because it's never my intention. Let her know that,
[00:22:33] John: that it's never your intention.
[00:22:39] John: If that's another way of indicating there's an apology coming her way, let her know that. And if it feels right.[00:23:00]
[00:23:02] John: Yeah.
[00:23:13] John: What's happening now?
[00:23:15] Cece: She's becoming like the normal person figure.
[00:23:19] John: Oh wow.
[00:23:20] Cece: Sitting in front of me. But she doesn't look sad. Happy.
[00:23:25] John: Okay.
[00:23:26] Cece: Yeah. Still no.
[00:23:29] John: Can she just tell you more about her unhappiness with you? Can you just listen and take it in?
[00:23:45] John: Yeah. Notice how all that this is tracking in your [00:24:00] body.
[00:24:30] John: what's happening now?
[00:24:48] Cece: My mom said she, I'm always doing something rebellious and out of the box and not [00:25:00] respecting rules and make her feel ashamed.
[00:25:08] John: Okay. Can you ask her if that applies to your life today? What if she's just talking about back then when you were little?
[00:25:27] Cece: It's in the past.
[00:25:29] Okay.
[00:25:30] Cece: When I just graduated from my school.
[00:25:32] John: Okay. You I see. Can you ask her how she thinks you're doing today?
[00:25:38] Cece: Think I'm doing pretty cool today, right now.
[00:25:41] John: What's that like for you to hear that?
[00:25:48] Cece: Good. A little bit lighter in the heart.
[00:25:51] John: Yeah, a little bit lighter in the heart. Yeah, okay.
[00:25:59] John: We've only [00:26:00] got five or so minutes left. Can you ask this part that looks like mom, if she wants to, if she wants to, if she'd be willing to hang out for a second with you again? and watch you interacting with this little girl that was in the bathroom and also the part that was doubting, I don't know if that was the mom part or a different one, can watch as well.
[00:26:24] John: And I just want you to see if you can go back to that little girl and see if you can find her and see how she's doing.
[00:26:35] Cece: Yes,
[00:26:49] John: see if she has any physical needs that you can tend to
[00:26:57] Cece: That little girl now. She's [00:27:00] running and In the outer place on a grass.
[00:27:04] John: Oh, wow.
[00:27:06] Cece: Yeah, very heavily.
[00:27:09] John: Huh
[00:27:11] Cece: and You can feel them I can feel there, there's It's like early in the morning there are fog uhhuh and it's quite humid in the weather, in the air. And she's happy. But I cannot see her face.
[00:27:29] Cece: I can sense her. Okay. And her needs Is she tells me she doesn't want to go back to the bathroom or whatever, the confined, very small room anymore.
[00:27:44] John: Does she have to go back there? Okay. Tell her as clearly as you can. That she does not have to go back there.
[00:27:57] John: If she's willing to look you in the eye [00:28:00] and for you to see her face, look her in the face and tell her you never have to go back there to
[00:28:15] John: make sure you get down on her level and really deliver that message with a lot of love and a lot of confidence. Yeah.
[00:28:41] John: Yeah.[00:29:00]
[00:29:00] John: Yeah. Just keep hanging out there for another minute or two.
[00:29:16] Cece: Can see her face for just a few seconds, and then I cannot see her face again, and she's telling me she wants to go somewhere more sunny.
[00:29:41] John: Okay. Could you take her there? Could you let her pick a place that's more sunny?
[00:29:52] John: And you might see her face a little more over time as you get to know her more and keep working on this connection with her. [00:30:00] Yeah. Does she know where she wants to go somewhere sunny or is there somewhere you want to suggest for her?
[00:30:24] Cece: She doesn't know. And the place I suggest. I don't think she, I don't feel she, she likes it or she want to go there, but it's okay.
[00:30:38] John: You could try another place
[00:30:44] John: or another option would be
[00:30:48] John: if she's ready for this and you're ready for this, you could invite her into where you are right now, into the room you're in right now, into the present moment you're in right now.[00:31:00]
[00:31:09] Cece: She doesn't want to come into the room where I am right now.
[00:31:12] John: Yeah. So maybe she can be back in that. Outdoor place that she was in running around and maybe there's something or someone that could keep her company there Or make that place a little better for now
[00:31:38] John: And you might take a moment to make an agreement with her about what you'll do after today To follow up with her or to keep working on this connection with her.
[00:31:49] John: Just whatever feels genuine whatever you can confidently offer[00:32:00]
[00:32:08] Cece: I tell her that she can stay in the same place and I would check on me and I come to say hi every day.
[00:32:17] John: Yeah.
[00:32:17] Cece: And she would not be alone and she's quite fine with that right now.
[00:32:21] John: Okay. Yeah. So let's do that as a follow up and let's see how that goes. So we got to wrap up, but I want you just to thank all your parts, especially the ones that showed up today for doing this, for being part of this.
[00:32:40] John: I know there was a part at the beginning that had concerns about doing this at all. I don't know if it was the little girl or someone else, but you can check in with that part on your way out here. And then once you're ready, we'll stop the recording and debrief a little bit.[00:33:00]
[00:33:21] Cece: Okay. Interesting. Two new parts. I've never seen them before. Thank you.
[00:33:27] John: Thank you for doing this. Thanks for listening to another episode of Going Inside. If you enjoyed this episode, please and subscribe wherever you're listening or watching and share your favorite episode with a friend. You can follow me on Instagram, @JohnClarkeTherapy and apply to work with me one on one at JohnClarkeTherapy.com. See you next time.