Real IFS Therapy Session: "Ashley" Part 2
LIVE Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy Session with Ashley R. (Part 2)
In this episode of "Going Inside: Healing Trauma From The Inside Out," I conduct Part 2 of a real Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy session with Ashley. This session demonstrates the deep, transformative potential of IFS therapy.
Key Takeaways:
1. Acknowledging and Validating Inner Parts:
By acknowledging the parts of Ashley that feel abandoned and hurt, we could start the healing process through validation and compassion.
2. Integrating and Supporting Inner Parts:
Bringing some parts into the present and ensuring they feel supported and seen is crucial for long-term healing and integration.
3. Physiological Shifts in Healing:
The session led to a noticeable physiological shift for Ashley, demonstrating how emotional healing can directly impact physical energy and well-being.
Session Transcript:
[00:00:00] Ashley: I told her that we can move slowly toward the dreams to help her build, to build confidence and, and that felt good to her.
[00:00:13] John: Going Inside is a podcast on a mission to help people heal from trauma and reconnect with their authentic self. Join me, trauma therapist, John Clark, for guest interviews, real life therapy sessions, and soothing guided meditations. Whether you're navigating your own trauma, helping others heal from [00:00:30] trauma, or simply yearning for a deeper understanding of yourself, going inside is your companion on the path to healing and self discovery.
[00:00:37] John: Download free guided meditations and apply to work with me one on one at johnclarktherapy. com. Thanks for being here. Let's dive in. Welcome back and thanks for doing this again.
[00:00:50] Ashley: You bet. No, thank you so much for helping me out. I am, I'm excited.
[00:00:56] John: Yeah, so we chatted a little bit before hitting [00:01:00] record, and I know you have a few different thoughts about where we could kind of go.
[00:01:05] John: Yeah, maybe you can just think out loud for a second. Let me know what's feeling top of mind, whether it's whether or not it's connected to last session is okay. Yeah. Let me know what's going on.
[00:01:16] Ashley: Yeah. So I, last session we talked about like me, you know, shutting down every day and I'm like, you know, my thoughts were like, Oh, I hate my job.
[00:01:25] Ashley: I'm shutting down every day. It's like, gotta be my job. But like, [00:01:30] honestly, I feel like that really shifted like from our session, like my perspective and I'm like, I feel like I haven't been hating my job as much, like since, you know, we had that like part interaction with the part of me who. Did feel trapped at my job, but like now I'm still shutting down.
[00:01:44] Ashley: And I just, and there's like, you know, a lot of external things actually going on, a lot of things falling apart, a lot of things, you know, kind of blowing up in my world and it's bringing up a lot of things for me and my response. Has been [00:02:00] to just numb out and shut down and I I feel it in my stomach and I want to like hunch over And my symptoms are still very much like freeze response.
[00:02:09] Ashley: Like I feel like I can't breathe sometimes I You know, I don't have energy like if my water bottle is out of water I don't have the energy to go up and fill it. I just like oh, I guess i'm out of water like so yeah, maybe you can help me with you know, this like numbness and this shutting down response that You You know, there are the external factors, but I think a lot of it is [00:02:30] like just exasperating what was already there.
[00:02:35] John: Yeah, got it. Okay, well, one invitation I want to put out there is rather than us trying to kind of like figure it out or draw connections between this and that we just want to see if we can identify parts of you that need our help today. Okay. And so with everything going on you mentioned a bunch of external things going [00:03:00] on.
[00:03:01] John: Maybe just start by turning the attention inside and just see what happens. You mentioned that sensation in your stomach that you're aware of. Just see if you, if you're able to go inside, what else you notice.
[00:03:17] Ashley: Do you want me to close my eyes for this part?
[00:03:20] John: Up to you.
[00:03:21] Ashley: I didn't know if we were going there yet.
[00:03:25] Ashley: Okay.
[00:03:26] John: We can. Yeah. If it, if that feels good, go for it. [00:03:30]
[00:03:31] Ashley: Yeah. I don't know. Like my whole life, like torso just wants to like concave forward. Like I just feel like hunched and like, I just like want to like always have a pillow on my, my belly or a blanket. The feeling of emptiness is kind of there, but sometimes even that gets numbed out.
[00:03:56] John: Yeah. So you might [00:04:00] just start by putting your hands on your stomach, where you would want to put that pillow,
[00:04:12] John: and just see what you notice. Or if you were to imagine that your hands have ears, or are ears, see if you can just kind of shift into a posture of listening with your hands.[00:04:30]
[00:04:33] Ashley: I feel like the, the phrase, like, I'm just so unhappy is coming up.
[00:04:38] John: I'm unhappy. Yeah, I'm just so unhappy.
[00:04:41] Ashley: Yeah. Like, like nothing about my life feels like authentic to me. And then I'm just so like small. I just feel so small. I'm not doing any of the things I really want to be doing.
[00:04:57] John: Okay. Got it. Yeah. I'm so [00:05:00] small.
[00:05:07] John: Yeah. See if you can go toward the part of you that feels small.
[00:05:17] Ashley: Yeah, I feel like almost like the imagery that comes to mind is like an Alice in Wonderland when she's like the tiny person and she's in a room with like all the big furniture and, [00:05:30] and yeah, like I just want to like go out and live my dreams. But like, I just feel kind of like crammed maybe into like a smaller space even too.
[00:05:46] John: Okay.
[00:05:54] John: Yeah. So I just want you to take your time here and all we're doing is [00:06:00] Listening to what's here and who's here and just trying to get a sense for, yeah, again, which part most needs our help. So just take your time kind of exploring that and feel free to narrate out loud what you're noticing or if there's multiple.
[00:06:20] John: Parts that you're noticing.
[00:06:25] Ashley: I feel like there's also like a part that's just feels really invisible. [00:06:30]
[00:06:31] John: Yeah.
[00:06:35] Ashley: Yeah. That feels that feels very prominent you know?
[00:06:38] John: Okay.
[00:06:38] Ashley: I'm just not really being seen by anyone.
[00:06:44] John: Okay. Does it feel right to go toward that one? The one that feels invisible?
[00:06:48] Ashley: Yeah, it does.
[00:06:57] John: Let me know how you experienced that [00:07:00] part. What does it look like? Sound like? Where is it in or around your body?
[00:07:15] Ashley: I feel like I'm like sitting on a park bench. And like, the imagery that's coming up is that I'm like, Bleeding like my arms are like bleeding and then people are just like walking by. [00:07:30]
[00:07:30] John: Okay,
[00:07:31] Ashley: that's imagery wise that's that's kind of what it feels like.
[00:07:35] John: Okay Okay. So one idea would be to try to step into that image seeing this part sitting on a on a bench With their arms bleeding.
[00:07:54] Ashley: Is there another idea? Or do you want me to try to do that?
[00:07:59] John: That's the [00:08:00] only idea I have for now.
[00:08:01] Ashley: Oh, okay. You said there were two. I'm sorry.
[00:08:05] Ashley: Yeah, let me try to step in. Okay, I can step in. And it needs to be through my eyes, right?
[00:08:11] John: Yeah, we want, we want you to see this part through your eyes, not through another part.
[00:08:16] John: Okay,
[00:08:24] Ashley: like I'm like the only one who's like seeing her and being like, wow, like why is [00:08:30] no one else helping?
[00:08:32] John: Okay. Yeah, got it. And is she aware of you?
[00:08:38] Ashley: We're making eye contact, but she's like frozen, like she's like kind of The part that's like numb too. She is numb.
[00:08:53] John: Okay.
[00:08:54] Ashley: I can't speak. How
[00:08:54] John: are you feeling? How are you feeling toward her?[00:09:00]
[00:09:00] Ashley: I'm so concerned and still like baffled that no one is doing anything.
[00:09:07] John: So send that feeling of concern to her. See if you can send it directly to her and see how she reacts. She's
[00:09:23] Ashley: like kind of Nodding. She's kind of looking down at like [00:09:30] the, the blood like gushing out of her arms as well, but she still can't see anything.
[00:09:38] John: Okay, got it.
[00:09:44] John: Can you help her with the bleeding? Can you just offer to help her? Does she want that?
[00:09:51] Ashley: Yeah, she's, she's receiving my My concern and and she sees that I want to help.
[00:09:57] John: Okay. [00:10:00]
[00:10:00] Ashley: Yeah, I can like wrap the arms up in in towels
[00:10:07] John: Yeah, so try that and see how she reacts. Okay,
[00:10:28] Ashley: I asked her how long she's been [00:10:30] there and she's still not speaking But I am sensing it's been a long time
[00:10:39] John: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I want you to zoom out for a second and I want you to just ask inside as a general question If any parts have concerns about you getting to know her, or about doing [00:11:00] this session, or about me, or about being recorded, any of that.
[00:11:11] Ashley: I feel like there's almost like a, a man stepping in and saying, you have no right to be here. I don't know what that's about.
[00:11:19] John: Okay, see if you can turn your focus to that man and ask him more about that. You don't have a right to be here.[00:11:30]
[00:11:32] Ashley: He's like very angry and he's saying that he's He's gonna take care of it.
[00:11:38] John: Oh, okay,
[00:11:40] Ashley: but I don't really trust him.
[00:11:44] John: Okay. Yeah, you don't trust him
[00:11:52] John: Can can he tell you more about why he doesn't want you here? He doesn't want you with her[00:12:00]
[00:12:03] Ashley: He just keeps saying I'm handling it and like he just seems very possessive over her It doesn't make sense because he's clearly not doing anything about it.
[00:12:15] John: Okay?
[00:12:19] John: Yeah, how you feeling toward him?[00:12:30]
[00:12:30] John: Just sad for
[00:12:31] Ashley: the girl.
[00:12:33] John: Okay
[00:12:35] Ashley: Deserves to be taken care of but he's clearly has some tie to her that he and he's not not doing anything about it So I don't really got it. I don't really know how to handle him.
[00:12:50] John: Okay I want you to see if you can access some curiosity toward him and take your time with this It might [00:13:00] it might take a moment to find that and even check in with how you're feeling physically Are you feeling open, spacious, curious?
[00:13:09] John: Are you feeling tense, annoyed, scared, anything?
[00:13:13] Ashley: I feel a little bit more open, a little bit more spacious.
[00:13:17] John: Yeah.
[00:13:18] Ashley: Which is good. I,
[00:13:23] Ashley: this guy is just afraid of being belittled. Like, he doesn't wanna admit. Oh, okay. He [00:13:30] doesn't wanna admit that he doesn't know what he is doing, but I can tell he doesn't know what he is doing.
[00:13:35] John: Got it. Okay. Can, can you let him know that you're not gonna belittle him?
[00:13:53] Ashley: I said I'm just gonna, you know, help her and see if there's anything I can do. I'm not trying to replace you. [00:14:00] I think he softened a little but still like doesn't really want me to go near her.
[00:14:09] John: Okay. Can you ask him if he's willing to step into a separate room with you and you can tell the one on the bench that you'll, you're not going to forget about her.
[00:14:21] John: We're going to come right back to her. Yeah.
[00:14:27] John: Yeah. So bring him into another room. [00:14:30] Okay. And either you can be in the same room with him, or if it's easier, you can be on the outside of the room speaking to him through a window, a screen, whatever feels right.
[00:14:48] Ashley: Yeah, we can, we can stand in the same room together. It's okay.
[00:14:55] John: Could, could you try sitting near each other or across from each other?[00:15:00]
[00:15:04] Ashley: Yeah, we can sit across from each other where he's cordial.
[00:15:09] John: Yeah, thank him for that.
[00:15:17] John: And then maybe just, if you're feeling open to him, just ask him what he wants you to know.[00:15:30]
[00:15:32] Ashley: He said she's been through a lot and doesn't need any other people in her life that could mess anything up.
[00:15:40] John: Got it. Okay, does that make sense to you?
[00:15:45] Ashley: I felt a physiological shift with that.
[00:15:48] John: Yeah. Just let him know that you get that. She's been through a lot. Do you know what he's talking about when he says she's been through a lot?[00:16:00]
[00:16:01] John: I don't. Okay, ask him. What he's referring to, and he can, you can tell me if you want, or he can just share that with you privately. Okay.
[00:16:16] John: In fact, it might be best for him to share it with you privately. Okay.[00:16:30]
[00:16:32] Ashley: He gave me some insight, but he did say, again, that he's just like not willing to let anybody in to her life again.
[00:16:43] John: Yeah.
[00:16:45] Ashley: That could, that could hurt her. And it hasn't been the first time. Someone has offered to help and then they've messed it up and hurt her more.
[00:16:57] John: Okay, got it. Can he tell you about that?
[00:16:59] John: Okay.[00:17:00]
[00:17:19] Ashley: He said, still a very, in a very, you know, enthusiastic and, and
[00:17:29] Ashley: [00:17:30] just like in a very determined tone that, you know, this isn't the first time that someone has tried to come in and offer to help and help me. You know convince me that she that they can help her and then they they hurt her more now She's on the ground and bleeding and she can't move.
[00:17:54] John: Got it. Okay.
[00:17:58] John: Yeah, let it let her know that you get [00:18:00] that
[00:18:09] John: What's happening in your body now?
[00:18:15] Ashley: My body still feels open and and pretty Ready to, to press further, I think what I want to say to him next is that like, I can assure you that this time will be different.[00:18:30]
[00:18:31] John: Yeah, let me know how he reacts to that.
[00:18:42] Ashley: His whole energy shifted. He like wants to believe me.
[00:18:48] John: Yeah, okay.
[00:18:50] Ashley: I think he's in the process of being convinced that I actually can really help her.
[00:18:57] John: Yeah, totally. Well, [00:19:00] that makes sense that he's hesitant.
[00:19:08] John: So one option is if we do go back to her that he comes with us to help out or supervise or consult with us?
[00:19:25] Ashley: Yeah, let me ask him if he wants to do that. I[00:19:30]
[00:19:42] Ashley: said, you know, you can be right there with me as I, as I show you how I'm going to help her.
[00:19:51] Ashley: And he like, he, he's still cautious, but he agreed to that.
[00:19:59] John: [00:20:00] Okay. All right. Thank him for that.
[00:20:06] John: Can you ask him how old he is?
[00:20:09] Ashley: 59.
[00:20:11] John: Okay. And how old does he think you are?
[00:20:16] John: 24.
[00:20:27] John: Can you update him a little bit on your [00:20:30] life?
[00:20:39] John: Let him know what's going on, where you live, where you work, who's in your life.
[00:20:50] John: You could even let him know about this work that we're doing right here and why we're doing it.[00:21:00]
[00:21:04] Ashley: He feels a little bit more comfortable with me now. I told him I'm actually 27.
[00:21:09] John: Yeah. Yes, see how he reacts to that.
[00:21:23] Ashley: He's so he's still a little skeptical, but he's willing.
[00:21:27] John: Yeah [00:21:30] Can he tell you more about how he got this job of protecting her?
[00:21:43] Ashley: He said he's been there since I went since that girl was like a little girl.
[00:21:50] John: Oh, wow Yeah,
[00:21:55] Ashley: and that she kept getting hurt. And so he needed to to step in [00:22:00]
[00:22:01] John: Got it. Okay. Can he tell you about the first time he had to step in?
[00:22:13] Ashley: He doesn't remember.
[00:22:21] John: Yeah.
[00:22:22] Ashley: The playground comes to mind. Yeah.
[00:22:25] John: Okay.
[00:22:28] Ashley: He said he can't really [00:22:30] remember.
[00:22:31] John: Okay.
[00:22:36] Ashley: I want to give him a hug.
[00:22:39] John: See if you can offer that and see if he accepts.
[00:22:48] Ashley: He said no. He doesn't trust me yet.
[00:22:51] John: Yeah. Okay. Can you ask him what would need to happen in order for him to trust you? To trust you or even to trust you 1 percent more[00:23:00]
[00:23:09] Ashley: just that I really am who I say I am He needs to know that I really am who I say I am and that my intentions are Actually my intentions.
[00:23:22] John: Okay. Yeah Yeah,
[00:23:27] John: yeah and ask him how you could prove that [00:23:30] Yes,
[00:23:42] Ashley: if I had any weapons on me and I said no,
[00:23:48] John: okay
[00:23:49] Ashley: That made him feel a little a little better.
[00:23:55] John: Yeah. Okay.[00:24:00]
[00:24:00] John: Yeah any other questions? He wants to ask you like that,
[00:24:08] John: or to assess your safety or trustworthiness.
[00:24:21] Ashley: He said, okay, I believe you. You can, you can help me with her now.
[00:24:29] Ashley: [00:24:30] He trusts me.
[00:24:32] John: Okay. All right. Thank him for that.
[00:24:35] Ashley: Yeah.
[00:24:37] John: Yeah.
[00:24:39] Ashley: I can tell he's like gotten a lot softer and that he actually has no idea what he's doing and he really needs help with her.
[00:24:46] John: Yeah, okay, in that case tell him help is here.
[00:24:58] Ashley: He feels really supported now, which [00:25:00] is,
[00:25:01] John: yeah,
[00:25:01] Ashley: makes me feel good And I can tell it makes him feel good.
[00:25:05] John: Great. Okay.
[00:25:09] John: Okay. Now does he want to come with you back to the girl? Or does he want to stay where he is? Or does he want to go somewhere entirely different or come into the present with you?
[00:25:22] Ashley: He wants to come with me. He He still wants to help, but he just needs guidance.
[00:25:28] John: Okay, is that something [00:25:30] you can offer him?
[00:25:31] Ashley: Yeah, yeah, I can, I can help him help her too. She needs a lot of help. I think having another person would be good.
[00:25:40] John: Okay, great. So then if it feels okay, go, go back to the girl on the bench. Okay. See if you get a sense as to what to do next with her or how to help her.
[00:25:59] Ashley: Right now [00:26:00] we're just like covering her arms with the bandages and like propping up her head. I'm like covering her with a blanket and like I kind of brought her into my lap and I'm just kind of like rocking her back and forth.
[00:26:18] John: Yeah. Great. Okay. Yeah. So just stay with that for as long as she needs.[00:26:30]
[00:26:36] Ashley: She's like starting to pick up her breath a little bit, like almost like a, like a, like a hyperventilating.
[00:26:47] John: Okay, yeah, so you might help her with that or see if her breath can match yours.
[00:26:56] Ashley: I just like pulled her in a little bit tighter.[00:27:00]
[00:27:09] Ashley: Yeah, she just feels completely helpless or looks completely helpless.
[00:27:15] John: Okay, ask her if she wants to stay here or does she want to go somewhere else?
[00:27:24] John: She wants to stay right there. Okay,
[00:27:29] John: [00:27:30] does she, is she ready to tell you about what happened? Or why she's bleeding.
[00:27:40] Ashley: She's starting to cry.
[00:27:45] John: Yeah. How are you feeling toward her? I
[00:27:51] John: guess so bad for her. Yeah. It's just so send her that[00:28:00]
[00:28:15] Ashley: she's like actually ready to sit up now. Okay.
[00:28:20] John: Yeah. Help her do that.
[00:28:26] Ashley: The guy kind of helps me. The man helps me with that a little bit, but [00:28:30] he's mostly just watching.
[00:28:32] John: Yeah. Okay.
[00:28:41] Ashley: Yeah. She's still just like really crying. I'm just holding her. Yeah.
[00:28:48] John: Okay.
[00:28:57] John: Yeah. So just keep giving her what she needs.[00:29:00]
[00:29:03] Ashley: Yeah. I give it like one second. We could just stay here for a second.
[00:29:08] John: Yeah.
[00:29:20] Ashley: Yeah, I'm giving her a tissue. She's like blowing her nose and she's like kind of nodding is to say like, thank you, like, thank you [00:29:30] for, for helping me.
[00:29:55] Ashley: I asked her again how she got here and she said [00:30:00] that someone just dumped her off there.
[00:30:05] John: Oh, okay.
[00:30:10] John: Does she want to tell you more about that, or what happened before that,
[00:30:15] John: or who it was?[00:30:30]
[00:30:31] Ashley: She just said there were people that couldn't deal with me anymore, deal with her anymore.
[00:30:39] John: Okay, and why couldn't they deal with her anymore? I said
[00:30:45] Ashley: I was too, or she was too too much. Too loud and had too many needs.
[00:30:54] John: Okay. Is she too much for you? No, not [00:31:00] at all. Okay, let her know that.
[00:31:06] Ashley: You said it sounds like you just needed the help and she nodded.
[00:31:14] John: Yeah, that's not too much at all. Yeah, great.[00:31:30]
[00:31:54] Ashley: I asked her what
[00:31:55] Ashley: what she needed help with in the first place before she got dumped off. [00:32:00] And she said too many people were hurting her and she kept crying too much.
[00:32:07] John: And
[00:32:10] Ashley: so then that's when the people just drove her to this park and dropped her off.
[00:32:17] John: Got it. I
[00:32:29] Ashley: can tell that [00:32:30] she's really scared. She's terrified.
[00:32:33] John: Yeah. Can you ask her what she's afraid of now?
[00:32:44] Ashley: She's afraid of getting hurt again. She's afraid of pain. She's afraid of being ignored for needing help. [00:33:00]
[00:33:00] John: Yeah,
[00:33:05] John: yeah, let her know that you get that.
[00:33:23] John: Can you ask her if she needs your help with something from back then? Does she need your help [00:33:30] doing something over again or speaking to someone? or repairing something, or does she want to come with you into the present?
[00:33:44] Ashley: She wants to tell the people that dropped her off that,
[00:33:51] Ashley: that what they did was wrong.
[00:33:54] John: Okay, yeah, can, can you go with her?
[00:33:57] Ashley: She wants me to tell them that, yeah.
[00:33:59] John: Oh, [00:34:00] okay, yeah, does she want to be there for that, or does she want you to just do it?
[00:34:06] Ashley: She wants me to just do it.
[00:34:11] John: Okay, so see if you can go do that,
[00:34:17] John: and then when it's done, go, you can go back to her and let her know that it's done, and let her know how it went.
[00:34:21] Ashley: Okay,[00:34:30]
[00:34:41] Ashley: I went and talked to them and they were super ashamed that they just dumped her off in the park.
[00:34:47] John: Okay, yeah.
[00:34:49] Ashley: They like, completely shrunk when I went over to tell them that what they did was not okay.
[00:34:54] John: Okay, yeah.
[00:34:59] Ashley: Yeah, I can tell they have a [00:35:00] lot of issues.
[00:35:02] John: Okay. That they're not very stable. Got it.
[00:35:14] Ashley: And they thanked me for, for taking care of her the way that she deserves.
[00:35:20] John: Okay, yeah.[00:35:30]
[00:35:36] Ashley: Okay, I think I can go back to her now.
[00:35:39] John: Okay, so go back to her and let her know how that went and what they said.
[00:35:50] Ashley: I told her that there's no chance that they would have been able to take care of her with all with the needs that she has.
[00:35:57] John: There's
[00:35:57] Ashley: no chance that they would have been able to take care of [00:36:00] anybody.
[00:36:01] John: Okay.
[00:36:02] Ashley: Like by a landslide. There's no way. She appreciates my honesty.
[00:36:12] John: Yeah, great.
[00:36:22] Ashley: She looks so much better and feels so much better already.
[00:36:26] John: Excellent.[00:36:30]
[00:36:34] John: So you might just check again if she needs something else to happen
[00:36:43] John: or wants to come in and present with you or wants to stay right there today.
[00:36:51] Ashley: Now she's like sitting, she like wants to, I like helped her stand up and now she wants to sit on the bench instead of on the ground before we were laying on the ground. [00:37:00] Okay. So now we're standing up and sitting on the bench and now she has a lot of things. Ah, that she wants to tell me. If we're low on time though, we can, we can stop here.
[00:37:13] Ashley: I don't know what time it is. No,
[00:37:14] John: it's okay. We've got about 10 minutes left. Okay. So just stay right there with her as she's, as she's telling you a lot.
[00:37:25] Ashley: Okay. She wants to tell me about all her hopes and dreams. [00:37:30] It's so sweet.
[00:37:31] John: Oh, great.
[00:37:39] Ashley: We're just kind of talking and I'm getting excited with her and she's got like a whole new energy in her of like, you know, Mm-Hmm.
[00:37:50] Ashley: The man is still there and he's just been like watching the whole time. He doesn't know how to inter intervene or interject.
[00:37:58] John: Yeah.
[00:37:59] Ashley: Is there anything I [00:38:00] need to do with him?
[00:38:01] John: What does, what does she think about the man?
[00:38:07] Ashley: I think she's kind of indifferent toward him. I think she just knows that he's been around for a while, but hasn't really helped her, but she, he hasn't hurt her either.
[00:38:19] John: Okay. We might just ask him if he still feels like his services are needed.[00:38:30]
[00:38:35] Ashley: The girl who was bleeding, she
[00:38:37] Ashley: she, she told him he could go and he agreed to go, but she like ran and gave him a hug before he left.
[00:38:45] John: Oh, wow. Okay.
[00:38:48] Ashley: She said, thanks. Thanks for doing all that you did.
[00:38:52] John: Yeah. Yeah, how is that for you?
[00:38:58] Ashley: That feels really good. [00:39:00]
[00:39:02] John: Yeah, great.
[00:39:06] Ashley: So he left and, and, and she went back to the park bench with me.
[00:39:11] John: Yeah, great.
[00:39:25] Ashley: I think I'm nervous that she's gonna get excited and go out and, [00:39:30] and follow some of these dreams and then, and then she She might get back on the bench and feel defeated again.
[00:39:40] John: Okay, and what would be, what would be bad about that?
[00:39:50] Ashley: I think it would feel defeating because, you know, she already, she already got back up and, and, you know, was supported once. [00:40:00] She doesn't want to she doesn't want to be back on the ground and bleeding again.
[00:40:04] John: Okay. Is there a fear that she couldn't handle the defeat?
[00:40:13] Ashley: Yeah, I think that's the fear.
[00:40:16] John: Yeah.
[00:40:20] John: Well, you might see if, if that does happen, could the two of you handle it together? Or could you help her handle it? [00:40:30] The disappointment of going for something and it not working out?
[00:40:35] Ashley: Yeah, I can handle it. I can help her handle it.
[00:40:39] John: Okay, just let her know that.
[00:40:49] Ashley: I told her that we can move slowly toward the dreams to help her build, to build confidence and, and that felt good to her.
[00:40:59] John: Yeah, [00:41:00] wonderful.
[00:41:03] Ashley: She's just happy to not be ignored anymore.
[00:41:10] John: Yeah, that's great. Let her know she's not going to be ignored anymore. Yeah, she can connect to you, to you now. Just let her know that.
[00:41:27] Ashley: She has so much to say. She just keeps [00:41:30] chatting.
[00:41:31] John: Yeah, that's great.
[00:41:34] Ashley: What were you going to say?
[00:41:36] John: Can you ask her how old she is?
[00:41:42] Ashley: She said 14.
[00:41:44] John: Huh. And how old does she think you are?
[00:41:49] Ashley: She thinks I'm 30.
[00:41:51] John: Okay. Let her know you're 27.[00:42:00]
[00:42:04] Ashley: She thinks I'm so cool.
[00:42:07] John: Great.
[00:42:10] Ashley: She's happy to have my help.
[00:42:13] John: Yeah.
[00:42:22] Ashley: I think I want to bring her into the present now.
[00:42:26] John: Just ask her if she's interested in that. Ask her if she's ready for that.[00:42:30]
[00:42:35] John: It's up to her.
[00:42:39] Ashley: Yeah, she feels she feels safe as long as she has me. That, yeah.
[00:42:44] John: Okay.
[00:42:44] Ashley: She can come into the present now.
[00:42:47] John: Okay, so go ahead and bring her with you. And once she's in the present with us, she's yours. Just ask her if she wants your help getting rid of anything. Thoughts, feelings, beliefs. [00:43:00] Getting rid of anything in or around her body.
[00:43:05] John: It's optional.
[00:43:15] Ashley: She said she still has some fears, but she just wants the guidance as we, as we keep going.
[00:43:21] John: Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Let her know you can offer that guidance if that feels right to you.[00:43:30]
[00:43:34] Ashley: Yeah. Okay. We can do that.
[00:43:38] John: Yeah, great.
[00:43:47] John: Yeah, so then you might just ask her where she wants to settle, whether that's somewhere real or imaginary or somewhere in your body.[00:44:00]
[00:44:03] Ashley: I think where she's saying she kind of wants to just see my life and like where I live and look around my apartment and explore.
[00:44:16] John: Great. Yeah, go with her to do that. Let her check out everything. Just be there with her as she experiences that. You know, so let her know this is, this is [00:44:30] hers now.
[00:44:46] Ashley: Yeah. She feels happy. She just came up and, and hugged my legs. She feels free.
[00:44:54] John: Yeah.
[00:44:59] John: Yeah. [00:45:00] Great. How are you feeling toward her? I'm so
[00:45:05] Ashley: happy to see her happy.
[00:45:08] John: Yeah. Yeah. Let her know that.
[00:45:25] John: So as we get ready to wrap up, I want you to just to let her know [00:45:30] if this feels true to you, that you're going to check on her. I just want you to check in on her once a day for about the next 21 days. Okay. You can just go inside, find her, see if she's still here, see if she needs anything. Okay. Anything you want to say before we hit the stop button on the recording, at least. Maybe we can, we can obviously chat more after, but anything else you want to say before we do that? [00:46:00]
[00:46:01] Ashley: Physiological shift is insane. I actually have so much energy now.
[00:46:06] John: Thanks for listening to another episode of Going Inside.
[00:46:09] John: If you enjoyed this episode, please like, and subscribe wherever you're listening or watching and share your favorite episode with a friend. You can follow me on Instagram, @JohnClarkeTherapy and apply to work with me one on one at JohnClarkeTherapy.com. See you next time.
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