Real IFS Therapy Session: "Sophia" - Internal Family Systems Therapy Demo Part 3

Real IFS Therapy Session: "Sophia" - Internal Family Systems Therapy Demo Part 3

In this episode of Going Inside: Healing Trauma from the Inside Out, I guide Sophia through the continuation of her Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy session. We revisit and deepen our work with the younger part, exploring its need for control and safety, and ultimately releasing significant burdens.

Key Topics Discussed:

  1. Acknowledge the need for control that parts may carry and explore their origins.

  2. Encourage parts to hand over responsibilities that are too heavy for them to bear.

  3. Replace the burdens with positive and active experiences to foster healing.

  4. Continually check in with parts to provide ongoing support and adjustment.

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Interview Transcript:

[00:00:00] John: Now that everyone's calm and everyone can talk to one another, see if there's anything that needs to be said from you or anyone else. 

[00:00:09] Sophia: The grandmother on my mother's side, she says, I'm sorry. She's really ashamed, like looking down into the floor. 

[00:00:18] John: What's she sorry about? 

[00:00:20] Sophia: Being so mean and manipulative

[00:00:26] Sophia: and 

[00:00:26] Sophia: violent. 

[00:00:29] John: Yeah. To what [00:00:30] degree do you want to forgive her? 

[00:00:32] Sophia: I don't have much contact with her. It's like I barely know her. 

[00:00:37] John: All right. You might just offer her that space to, for her to apologize. And maybe others can hear that as well.

[00:00:50] John: Hey everyone, it's John. Before we jump into this IFS demo, I wanted to give you a rundown of what you're going to see in this session. We're working with the same exile [00:01:00] as last time. We kind of reunited self with the exile again. And then we did some really interesting work around legacy burdens within the client system.

[00:01:11] John: You could say burdens that are really coming down her ancestral line. So we ended up working with multiple family members and her ancestral line offering and inviting some healing down the ancestral line and eventually working to further unburden this exile again with the [00:01:30] help of self. And yeah, it's a really interesting session, lots of different layers as a.

[00:01:36] John: A preface again, or a warning, please don't attempt doing this type of work unless you're a licensed therapist or other practitioner with formal training. And I F S these are just demos for educational purposes. This work might look a bit faster than your clinical work because these people who volunteer for demos, they know a lot about IFS, they come in ready to do the work they've often already done some parts work before, [00:02:00] and they're ready to hit the ground running.

[00:02:01] John: And so the pace you'll see here is not. A realistic pace for your clinical work. The work should also always go extra slow, be very delicate and entering people's systems and seek supervision. When you need it and yeah, do your due diligence. So I hope that this video is, is helpful. If you have feedback for me, thoughts, questions, leave them in the comments on YouTube or email me, John@JohnClarkeTherapy.com. 

If you're interested in doing a demo with me, [00:02:30] you can also email me. John@JohnClarkeTherapy.com. So also some connection issues with this session with internet and stuff like that, so I apologize, but I think the content is there and hopefully you all can still discern what's, what's happening in the session.

[00:02:45] John: So thanks for checking it out. See you soon. Okay, let's get started. Where would you like to begin? 

[00:02:52] Sophia: Well since last time I've had Quite a lot of anxiety, a rollercoaster of emotions, [00:03:00] and I was kind of worried about where we left off my inner child last time. 

[00:03:08] John: Yeah. Say more about that. So, and to catch people up.

[00:03:13] John: We had been working with the part, it's an exile part and you had brought her to this ice cream shop and we had unburdened her and she had kind of settled there. But yeah, let me know what's going on with her or what's changed. [00:03:30] 

[00:03:30] Sophia: Well, what's changed is that she became addicted. And it's like a representation of all of my addictions to other substances as well.

[00:03:45] Sophia: So now when I see her, I see that, oh, she's, she's not enjoying herself. It's not fun anymore. It's too much fun. She can't get out. 

[00:03:56] John: Okay. Okay. Are you able to [00:04:00] connect with her right now?

[00:04:05] Sophia: Yeah, but she's like pulling a blanket over and over her head saying, don't disturb me. 

[00:04:12] John: Okay. All right. So maybe give her a little space, let her know that we don't want to disturb her.

[00:04:22] John: And maybe just check and see how you're feeling toward her as a starting point. 

[00:04:26] Sophia: Anger. Yeah, [00:04:30] angry that she couldn't handle it or behave better, control herself.

[00:04:40] John: Yeah. Okay. So perhaps a part that's angry at her that she couldn't control herself. Yeah. Could you ask that part for a little space and see if You can access some, some compassion for the little girl that she lost control.[00:05:00] 

[00:05:07] Sophia: Yeah. The angry part says like, yeah, I'll give you space if you do something about it. 

[00:05:13] John: Okay. Yeah. Let that part know we're going to do something about it today and that part is welcome to come with us or to hang out and watch or to take a break somewhere else and then we can check in with that part at the end.[00:05:30] 

[00:05:32] Sophia: Yeah. 

[00:05:35] John: Okay. And then just think that part for giving us some space to work here.

[00:05:45] Sophia: Yeah, 

[00:05:48] John: do a quick check in with your body here. Yeah, as you take a breath, just walk me through. What's what you notice 

[00:05:59] Sophia: a [00:06:00] shaky feeling Yeah Unstable. 

[00:06:05] John: Okay, where's the shaky feeling

[00:06:10] Sophia: everywhere? It's like tingling in the whole body. 

[00:06:14] John: Yeah, okay Yeah, is it okay to

[00:06:25] John: be with that shaky feeling And just go toward it?[00:06:30] 

[00:06:35] Sophia: Yeah, yeah, it is.

[00:06:45] John: What's the worry right now? What's the fear?

[00:06:53] Sophia: Um, that I'm gonna die. 

[00:06:57] John: Like in this moment? [00:07:00] Or like soon? 

[00:07:01] Sophia: Right now. 

[00:07:05] John: How true does that feel, like, from 0 to 100? With 100 being totally true? 

[00:07:13] Sophia: Like 30? 

[00:07:16] John: Okay, yeah,

[00:07:24] John: yeah. So you're not gonna die right now? Nothing bad [00:07:30] is happening in this moment? You're in your room and we're doing this work and this work can be intense and so it's also okay to just go super slow and be gentle with yourself and not go further than you're ready to go today because healing happens just a little bit at a time, just a centimeter at a time.[00:08:00] 

[00:08:02] Sophia: Hmm. Yeah, that's true.

[00:08:12] John: Maybe check in and see, just ask inside, do any parts have concerns about us doing the session today or have concerns with us. Going back to that little girl.[00:08:30] 

[00:08:30] Sophia: No, they're more like go ahead 

[00:08:33] John: Okay. All right. So let's go ahead then if that feels okay to you 

[00:08:40] Sophia: Yeah, 

[00:08:41] John: and see if you can just check on her again and in almost like a motherly way if you imagine like a really concerned Loving mother and bringing that type of energy toward the little girl[00:09:00] 

[00:09:04] Sophia: Yeah, she's like devastated crying, trying to reach me. Yeah. 

[00:09:11] John: Okay. Yeah. Can you let her reach you? Can you let her come to you? 

[00:09:20] Sophia: Yeah. Yeah. Of course. 

[00:09:24] John: Yeah. Okay. See how that is for her. And for you,[00:09:30] 

[00:09:32] Sophia: yeah, she's like holding around my neck and I'm holding her back and it feels good to be home. 

[00:09:41] John: Yeah, just be with that for a minute. Notice how good it feels to be home and to be together.

[00:09:55] John: Yeah.[00:10:00] 

[00:10:02] John: So scary that she lost control. 

[00:10:05] Sophia: Yeah.

[00:10:12] Sophia: Yeah. And I'm like saying, I'm going to take care of you now. Don't worry. 

[00:10:17] John: Yeah. Great. How does she receive that?

[00:10:26] Sophia: She's saying like, thank you, mommy. 

[00:10:29] John: [00:10:30] Oh yeah.

[00:10:36] John: So notice how that registers in your body again as you take another breath.

[00:10:50] Sophia: It feels good. And also like that there's a storm coming. 

[00:10:57] John: Okay. 

[00:10:58] Sophia: Don't relax, [00:11:00] it's not over. 

[00:11:02] John: All right. I want to offer you something, the both of you something, just as an experiment. I want you to close your eyes and I want you to imagine a white or golden light coming in from above your head, and just before it reaches the top of your head, it creates a A bubble of light [00:11:30] around you and around the little girl.

[00:11:47] John: And I want you to see that that light has almost like a continuous flow to it, like a fountain. And interestingly, you can lay around with making that bubble [00:12:00] more thick or more thin or even different colors. Maybe she can even play around with it too.

[00:12:24] Sophia: It's like the addiction is coming back, trying to take [00:12:30] hold of the situation. 

[00:12:32] John: Hmm. Yeah.

[00:12:40] John: Yeah. Is the addiction coming back toward her or toward you or both? 

[00:12:46] Sophia: Both. 

[00:12:48] John: Yeah. And why might it be coming back?

[00:12:54] Sophia: It says, I don't want to lose you. 

[00:12:59] John: Got it.[00:13:00] 

[00:13:09] John: Yeah. How are you experiencing the addiction? What does it look like? Sound like?

[00:13:26] Sophia: Like my mother.[00:13:30] 

[00:13:35] John: Say it again it cut out. 

[00:13:37] Sophia: Yeah, like my mother. It's like it's physically my, my mother. 

[00:13:44] John: Oh, okay. All right. And how are you feeling toward your mother or this, this part that looks like your mother?[00:14:00] 

[00:14:00] Sophia: I'm angry that she can't let go and deal with her own problems.

[00:14:14] John: Yeah.

[00:14:18] John: Okay. All right. I'm losing our connection here a little bit more, but let's see if it comes back. 

[00:14:27] Sophia: Yeah. 

[00:14:29] John: [00:14:30] Yeah. So I had just asked, how are you feeling toward this part that looks like your mother? 

[00:14:37] Sophia: Yeah. And I feel angry that she can't let go of me and that she can't take care of her own problems. 

[00:14:47] John: Okay. So this is like her bringing her own problems to you and the little girl.

[00:14:57] Sophia: Yeah. It's not mine. 

[00:14:58] John: Yeah. [00:15:00] Okay. Okay. So I want you to look mom in the eye and tell her it's not mine. This is not mine. And you can be as firm as you need to be and have the little girl there watching this happen.

[00:15:25] John: If you need to use some of that anger to show her how serious you are about it, you can [00:15:30] do that.

[00:15:40] John: Yeah.

[00:15:44] John: Yeah. Just stick with it.[00:16:00] 

[00:16:05] Sophia: Uh, she's like glue. 

[00:16:09] John: Mm,

[00:16:14] John: yeah. 

[00:16:14] Sophia: Like, it's not mine. 

[00:16:18] John: Yeah, so it keeps sticking to you. 

[00:16:23] Sophia: And now she actually says, I'm sorry, [00:16:30] and she looks away. 

[00:16:32] John: Oh, okay.

[00:16:37] John: Where's that glue now? Is it still with mom? Is it on you and the girl as well? Are you still in the bubble?

[00:16:52] Sophia: Well, the glue is more with mom and about the bubble. I'm, [00:17:00] I'm heading back towards the bubble with the little child. 

[00:17:06] John: Okay. How does the little one feel toward mom and her glue? 

[00:17:14] Sophia: She thinks that it's really scary. 

[00:17:23] John: Yeah. Yeah. Let her know. It is really scary. And if it's okay, let the little [00:17:30] girl know that she doesn't have to be the one to deal with this. And she can either be here for this or she can hang out somewhere else while you deal with mom.

[00:17:51] Sophia: Yeah. No, she doesn't want to be there. She is. Okay. Yeah. 

[00:17:56] John: Yeah. See if you can help her find a safe place to go, whether that's [00:18:00] a real place or imaginary, whether she wants to be there with someone.

[00:18:08] John: We've also at times recruited the help of that guide, that kind of mother wolf figure. That's also an option.

[00:18:23] Sophia: Well, she says she just wants to hang out with the animals, like the dogs and the cats. [00:18:30] So, 

[00:18:30] John: okay, great. Yeah. So have her go do that and let her know. We'll be right back for her.

[00:18:44] Sophia: Yeah. 

[00:18:46] John: Okay. So I want you to turn back toward mom with and the glue. Can you ask mom where she got the glue? Where it came from? Does she know?[00:19:00] 

[00:19:11] Sophia: Well, she's in real denial. Like she's almost asleep, but

[00:19:23] Sophia: like my, my grandmother, she says, [00:19:30] but I know that there is addiction on my grandfather's side as well. 

[00:19:35] John: Okay. Can you ask your mom if she wants our help getting rid of the glue today? Is she ready to let go of it?

[00:19:49] Sophia: No. 

[00:19:51] John: No. Okay. What's the concern in getting rid of it?[00:20:00] 

[00:20:03] Sophia: That then she won't be a good girl anymore. 

[00:20:07] John: Oh, okay. So who, who is she being a good girl for by holding onto the glue addiction?

[00:20:19] Sophia: Her mother. 

[00:20:21] John: Okay.

[00:20:25] John: So it's just an option you might invite her mother in as well to see how far back this [00:20:30] goes.

[00:20:38] John: And if her mother is there, you can also ask her where the glue came from or why it's important to keep it going.

[00:20:52] Sophia: She says it is what keeps the family together.[00:21:00] 

[00:21:02] John: She says it's what it's what keeps the family together. 

[00:21:05] Sophia: Exactly. Yes. 

[00:21:08] John: Okay. Yeah. Okay.

[00:21:23] John: So one option would be to invite in anyone on your ancestral line [00:21:30] who is healthy and well, who could offer help around releasing this glue?

[00:21:48] Sophia: Yeah. I'm thinking if there is anyone that I would trust. There is one. I don't know if there's secrets in that [00:22:00] family too, but there's one uncle. 

[00:22:04] John: Hmm. Okay. So you might invite him in. You also might just make an open invitation to any of your ancestors who might be able to help in this situation.[00:22:30] 

[00:22:32] Sophia: My, my grandmother actually wants to join on my father's side. 

[00:22:37] John: Okay. Okay. Yeah. So invite her in.

[00:22:45] John: See how that goes.

[00:22:55] Sophia: Yeah. She has a lot of energy and she really wants to help. [00:23:00] 

[00:23:00] John: Okay. All right. See if she can offer that help to everyone who's here. And the women on your mom's side, including your mom and her mom and whoever else needs healing.

[00:23:27] Sophia: Yeah. She can. [00:23:30] 

[00:23:30] John: Yeah. Okay. So see if she can offer that to everyone who's interested and see how that looks, whether it's a physical thing, like her offering something to them or a physical thing, like helping them get rid of something out of their bodies or getting rid of that glue.[00:24:00] 

[00:24:04] Sophia: She brings joy. and the atmosphere becomes playful. 

[00:24:12] John: Yeah. Wonderful. 

[00:24:14] Sophia: Yeah.

[00:24:18] John: Yeah. Great. See if everyone can take in some of that joy and that playfulness.[00:24:30] 

[00:24:56] Sophia: Yeah, I think we can.[00:25:00] 

[00:25:01] John: Yeah.

[00:25:07] John: Can you also take in some of that joy?

[00:25:15] John: Yeah, actually I can. In your body. Huh. Yeah. Notice how that is in your body this time compared to the shaking.[00:25:30] 

[00:25:31] Sophia: Yeah, it's love.

[00:25:40] Sophia: Yeah, it's like, oh, this is the right feeling to have in my body. Now, now we are calm. Now we can talk to each other.

[00:25:52] John: Great. Yeah. See how that conversation goes now that everyone's calm and everyone can talk to one another. [00:26:00] See if there's anything that needs to be said from you or anyone else.

[00:26:15] Sophia: The grandmother on my mother's side, she says, I'm sorry. She's really ashamed, like looking down into the floor. 

[00:26:24] John: What she's sorry about[00:26:30] 

[00:26:31] Sophia: being so mean and manipulative and violent.

[00:26:45] John: Yeah. To what degree do you want to forgive her? 

[00:26:48] Sophia: I don't have much contact with her. It's like, I barely know her. 

[00:26:53] John: Okay. 

[00:26:54] John: Yeah. All right. You might just offer her that space to, [00:27:00] for her to apologize. And maybe others can hear that as well. Like your mother.

[00:27:10] John: Yeah. Just keep the floor open for whatever else needs to happen here from you or from anyone else. 

[00:27:19] Sophia: Yeah, there needs to be. There needs to be a bit more healing done from my grandmother on the father's [00:27:30] side. 

[00:27:31] John: Okay. Yeah. See if you can invite in that healing or if someone can lead that healing.

[00:27:47] John: You might also offer up a fire, like a campfire in the middle that people can use to release things,[00:28:00] 

[00:28:00] John: anything that's not theirs, anything they want to get rid of.

[00:28:15] Sophia: The grandmother on my mother's side wants to leave the room. 

[00:28:22] John: Okay. All right. Is that all right?[00:28:30] 

[00:28:30] Sophia: I think she's escaping.

[00:28:37] Sophia: She's ashamed or something. 

[00:28:38] John: You think she's escaping? 

[00:28:41] Sophia: Yeah. 

[00:28:43] John: Okay. Can you check with her and see if she's escaping or why she might want to escape?

[00:28:53] Sophia: Yeah, she's running away from her feelings because she feels so stupid like, Oh, I'm such a [00:29:00] bad person. I'm horrible. 

[00:29:03] John: Oh, okay. Yeah.

[00:29:11] John: Is there someone available to help her with those feelings? Feelings of being horrible? Helping her with her shame?[00:29:30] 

[00:29:30] Sophia: No.

[00:29:34] Sophia: Not anyone that she knows. 

[00:29:37] John: Yeah.

[00:29:42] John: Okay. Does it feel right to kind of let her go or to encourage her back?[00:30:00] 

[00:30:00] Sophia: Well, this is exactly the problem I have as well. So I think it's to be solved. 

[00:30:09] John: Okay. Yeah. This problem of escaping. Yeah. What do you know about this escaping? How is it similar to your own escaping? 

[00:30:25] Sophia: It's what I do when I can't stand my emotions. 

[00:30:28] John: Right. Right. [00:30:30] Yeah. I got, I got, I get that. That makes sense. And they feel too big it's easier to escape than to deal with them Yeah,

[00:30:52] Sophia: yeah, I don't know if it would help to heal her and that that would heal me [00:31:00] 

[00:31:00] John: Yeah, it's possible if she's ready to heal or if there is someone else in your lineage that could come help heal

[00:31:14] John: She also has to be ready and willing to do it. And also you can Continue to heal. Anyway, you can be there not escaping As a way of doing your own healing if you want. And if you're ready, [00:31:30] you're kind of already doing it right now by being here. 

[00:31:36] John: Mm

[00:31:42] Sophia: hmm. Yeah.

[00:31:53] Sophia: Yeah. It's sad that there is no one for her.[00:32:00] 

[00:32:03] John: Yeah.

[00:32:11] John: Yeah. So you might just invite her back to the fire. There are people here at the fire for her,

[00:32:23] John: even though she has been alone. She does not have to be anymore if she wants to be here by the fire [00:32:30] with you and with the others. But it's also okay if she just continues on her journey.

[00:32:47] Sophia: Yeah. No, she's leaving. I can't force her. She's leaving. 

[00:32:54] John: Okay. All right. So you can wish her well and you [00:33:00] can come back to whoever's still here at the fire. You might also see if there's anything else you want to get rid of in the fire while you're here.

[00:33:17] Sophia: So there's me and my mom left by the fire and I want to get rid of the addiction.

[00:33:27] John: Yeah, so see how you want to get rid of the [00:33:30] addiction.

[00:33:44] Sophia: Well, I get this weird picture that I'm putting the inner child or the little child like on the fire. 

[00:33:55] John: Okay. Check with the little girl and see [00:34:00] if she's the one holding onto the addiction. Is she holding it or hiding it or attached to it? 

[00:34:08] Sophia: Yeah. Yeah. She's carrying it. 

[00:34:11] John: Okay. Ask her how ready she is to let it go into the fire.

[00:34:18] John: The two of you could do it together.[00:34:30] 

[00:34:40] Sophia: She says she's not ready to let go of it. Like it's your safety. 

[00:34:46] John: Oh, okay. Yeah. She wouldn't be safe. Without it. Yeah. Can, can she tell you where she got it [00:35:00] or when she got it?

[00:35:06] Sophia: She got it from my mom and she says she got it when she was around 17.

[00:35:19] Sophia: Yeah. 

[00:35:22] John: Yeah. What does she fear would happen if she didn't hold on to it?[00:35:30] 

[00:35:37] Sophia: Well she wouldn't have control over anything in the world. Anything could happen. 

[00:35:45] John: Okay. Yeah. It gives her a sense of control.

[00:35:58] John: Yeah. So she carries this sense of [00:36:00] needing to control life and feeling out of control in the world. The other possibility is that she hands over that responsibility to you today. It sounds like too much of a responsibility for the little girl. She could hand it over to you, the adult,

[00:36:21] John: or even a percentage of it. She could hand to you.[00:36:30] 

[00:36:37] Sophia: Yeah, then, then she surrenders, like, she's exhausted and she gives me everything. 

[00:36:44] John: Mm. Oh, great.

[00:36:49] John: Yeah. So now that she's giving you everything, what do you want to do with it?

[00:36:56] Sophia: Kind of feel it, like I'm feeling the weight [00:37:00] transferring to me. 

[00:37:04] John: Yeah. 

[00:37:05] Sophia: And it must be so heavy for her to have carried this for so long. 

[00:37:11] John: Yeah, 

[00:37:14] John: right.

[00:37:19] Sophia: I want to throw it on the fire. 

[00:37:21] John: Okay, throw it on the fire. Throw all of it on the fire, or as much as you're ready to throw into the fire. [00:37:30] And have her be there watching you do that. Seeing that it's all gone. And neither of you are holding it anymore.

[00:37:41] John: Notice how your body reacts as you do that.

[00:37:48] Sophia: It's like a shock. Like a cramp. Like, what am I gonna do without this?[00:38:00] 

[00:38:02] Sophia: It feels good. 

[00:38:04] John: Okay. So see if there's something you want to fill that space with.[00:38:30] 

[00:38:32] Sophia: Like sports, playing football or something. 

[00:38:38] John: Okay. Yeah. So let that in. Playing football, playing sports, play. The joy of moving around, being active, releasing your energy. 

[00:38:54] Sophia: Yeah. Using my anger also in a good way. Using 

[00:38:59] John: your [00:39:00] anger. Huh. That makes sense. Yeah, using this energy within you. 

[00:39:07] John: Mm hmm

[00:39:10] John: Let's see if the little girl wants to take in some of that too into her body That sense of play or of using that energy to play football or other things

[00:39:23] John: you could both play together even[00:39:30] 

[00:39:44] Sophia: Yeah, she's also taking it in. 

[00:39:49] John: Great. We've

[00:39:54] John: got just a couple minutes left I wanted you to check back with the angry part from [00:40:00] the beginning see if that part can take a look at what we've done and How the little girl is different now And invite any other parts that are concerned with this little girl or with anyone on the family line

[00:40:21] Sophia: So the angry part says You did a good job. 

[00:40:26] John: Oh, great. 

[00:40:28] Sophia: And [00:40:30] my parents are there.

[00:40:36] Sophia: And they are saying you are taking her away from us. 

[00:40:41] John: Oh, okay. What do you want to say to that?

[00:40:53] Sophia: A lot of not very nice [00:41:00] words. 

[00:41:01] John: That's fine. You can say those things to them in this world. You can let them know you're taking her because they did not take good care of her. So you're taking over from here. And you can say it with not nice words.

[00:41:22] John: Without worrying about their feelings too much.

[00:41:29] John: Just really [00:41:30] speak your truth.

[00:41:34] John: Yeah.

[00:41:46] Sophia: Yeah. 

[00:41:48] John: Mm 

[00:41:48] John: hmm. 

[00:41:49] Sophia: I'm saying you're not coming close to her ever again. 

[00:41:53] John: Right. Right. Let them know that.[00:42:00] 

[00:42:00] John: Yeah. Notice how the little girl reacts to that. Mm hmm.

[00:42:11] John: Yeah. 

[00:42:12] Sophia: The little girl finds it really cool. Like, she's almost laughing. 

[00:42:17] John: Yeah. Yeah. Almost like a big sister is standing up for her. 

[00:42:25] Sophia: Yeah. 

[00:42:27] John: Mm hmm.[00:42:30] 

[00:42:33] John: So I want you to stay close to this little girl over the next couple weeks in between our sessions. We've got a wrap up here, but just check in with the little girl, see what she needs as a follow up or where she wants to settle. whether that's back at that ice cream shop or somewhere different, somewhere in your body, somewhere with those animals, in a special room of her own.

[00:42:58] John: It's, it's really up to you or [00:43:00] up to her. 

[00:43:01] Sophia: She feels kind of a bit torn, but she wants to stay by the ice cream shop. 

[00:43:06] John: Okay. All right. She can stay there. Yeah. 

[00:43:14] Sophia: Yeah. It doesn't feel good to leave her there because it is with the addiction, but yeah. 

[00:43:21] John: Okay.

[00:43:26] John: Okay.[00:43:30] 

[00:43:32] John: Would you rather her be in a different place? Than the ice cream shop? 

[00:43:38] Sophia: Yeah. 

[00:43:40] John: See if you can offer her other options that are more neutral or that feel less scary.[00:44:00] 

[00:44:21] Sophia: Yeah. If I ask her, like, if you could go anywhere, where would you be? And then she said, like, well, [00:44:30] then I would be on a sailing boat, like across the atlantic ocean, like on a, on a wooden ship. 

[00:44:39] John: Okay. So maybe that's a better option. 

[00:44:45] Sophia: It is. 

[00:44:47] John: Okay. Yeah. So then have her go there and see if that's better. And then, like I said, I just want you to check in with her at least once a day for the next couple of weeks until I see you [00:45:00] again.

[00:45:01] Sophia: Yeah. Yeah. It's much better. She's playful there. 

[00:45:06] John: Yeah. Okay. Great.

[00:45:11] John: All right. I'll hit stop on the recording. We'll debrief a little bit and thank you again for doing this once again. 

[00:45:19] Sophia: Yeah. Thank you so much. 

[00:45:21] John: You got it. Thanks for listening to another episode of Going Inside. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, and subscribe wherever you're listening or watching and share your favorite [00:45:30] episode with a friend.

[00:45:31] John: You can follow me on Instagram, @JohnClarkeTherapy and apply to work with me one on one at JohnClarkeTherapy. com. See you next time.

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Real IFS Therapy Session: "Sophia" - Internal Family Systems Therapy Demo Part 2