Real IFS Therapy Session: "Rachel" - Internal Family Systems Therapy Demo
Real IFS Therapy Session: "Rachel" - Internal Family Systems Therapy Demo
In this episode of "Going Inside: Healing Trauma From The Inside Out," I guide Rachel through a real IFS therapy session where we have a deep exploration of her parts and their fears. We delve into the protective mechanisms her parts have developed to prevent emotional harm, particularly the fear of being emotionally squashed.
Key Topics Discussed:
Exploring Protector Parts
Rachel identifies and understands the role of her parts that project a hard armor to prevent emotional harm. This highlights the significance of recognizing and addressing protective mechanisms within IFS therapy.
Engaging with Younger Parts
By revisiting and freezing a traumatic childhood scene, Rachel connects with her younger parts, offering her support and understanding.
Unburdening
The unburdening allows Rachel's younger part to release the fear of being emotionally squashed and replace it with a newfound sense of fierceness.
Interview Transcript:
[00:00:00] Rachel: She wants to let go of this fear.
[00:00:03] John: So I want you to ask her how she wants to do it. Sometimes parts like to get rid of it using one of the elements. And I want you to be with her until she's gotten rid of as much as she wants to as much as she's ready to whatever percentage that is.
[00:00:18] Rachel: Yeah, that's done.
[00:00:21] John: Okay. So then just ask her if she wants to replace that with anything.
[00:00:26] Rachel: It's it's a kind of it's fierceness.
[00:00:28] John: So help her invite in [00:00:30] that fierceness, see it, take the place of where that fear was and see how she changes. You might even see if she wants to kind of act out her fierceness with you, to try it on, to show it to you.
[00:00:43] John: Mm hmm.
[00:00:44] Rachel: Yeah, she's already doing it.
[00:00:46] John: Yeah.
[00:00:54] John: Going Inside is a podcast on a mission to help people heal from trauma and reconnect with their authentic self. [00:01:00] Join me, trauma therapist John Clarke, for guest interviews, real life therapy sessions, and soothing guided meditations. Whether you're navigating your own trauma, helping others heal from trauma, or simply yearning for a deeper understanding of yourself, going inside is your companion on the path to healing and self discovery.
[00:01:18] John: Download free guided meditations and apply to work with me one on one at johnclarketherapy.com. Thanks for being here. Let's dive in.
Hey everyone. Before we jump into this real [00:01:30] IFS session, I wanted to give a quick preface. You're going to see me like I said, doing a real IFS with someone who has volunteered to do a demo with me.
[00:01:40] John: Since I opened up the invitation for people to do demos with me for this show and this YouTube channel I've gotten a lot of support and it seems to be that people that reach out and also have done a lot of their own. Work through meditation, through therapy, various healing arts. And so that means that people's systems tend to be more [00:02:00] open.
[00:02:00] John: The work flows a bit more than it might with someone who's totally new to things like therapy, meditation, healing arts, et cetera. And so I think you'll see that reflected. In this demo, you're going to see working with various parts you're going to see what it's like to work with protectors.
[00:02:16] John: You're also going to see an unburdening toward the end of the session. So another preface in that it would be just to say please do not attempt this work unless you are trained. In IFS unless you are a trained [00:02:30] practitioner, a therapist or coach who's been trained in IFS and has IFS supervision yeah, hopefully that goes without saying, but just wanted to add that in there.
[00:02:39] John: So yeah, without further ado, I will introduce our, our session here. So thanks again for checking this out. Let me know what you think in the comments. You can always reach out to me as well. John at John Clark therapy. com. And yeah, if you know of someone who might enjoy this, Please feel free to send it to them so we can help grow the show.
[00:02:59] John: Thanks again. [00:03:00] All right, here we go. Thank you again for, for doing this. And yeah, let me know where you want to begin
[00:03:07] Rachel: Me?
[00:03:09] John: Yeah. Yeah, you. .
[00:03:11] Rachel: Which is you are asking what I want to work on.
[00:03:17] John: Yeah, exactly.
[00:03:18] Rachel: In the session. Okay.
[00:03:19] John: Yeah.
[00:03:24] John: Another way to approach it, just to give you another option, is just to start connecting a little bit to [00:03:30] what you're feeling or experiencing right now, what's top of mind right now, what's what feels pressing. There's kind of no wrong ways to, to start.
[00:03:40] Rachel: Yeah. There is there is a topic that I brought to this to this conversation.
[00:03:44] Rachel: There's just a little bit of background if that's okay.
[00:03:47] John: Sure. Of course.
[00:03:51] Rachel: I experienced myself as having like a, like a strong pattern of overwhelming myself with like tasks and to do's. And I've, I've noticed that and [00:04:00] I've been untangling a lot of that over the last few years and months the last few weeks really have put a ton of attention on it.
[00:04:06] Rachel: And what happened just, just now, just in the last two days, that's making this top of mind for me is I actually took all of two days ago to really literally, like, Get all of my miscellaneous, like excuses out of the way, like actually done, like all the stuff that I tell myself, you know, Oh, I, I'll get to do the things I need to do just as soon as, just as soon as, just as soon as, [00:04:30] you know, all this other stuff is on.
[00:04:31] Rachel: And I actually just buckled down and did all that stuff. And I was like, let's see what happens when I actually get through that. Cause I always get to like 90%. You know, there's always that 10 percent and then the next day it's resets. And then yesterday I spent all of today just kind of like twiddling my thumbs and being really confronted with this piece that is scared of getting the work done that I want to do in the world.
[00:04:57] Rachel: And I'd say a lot of things [00:05:00] about it, but it's really like, it felt very, very juicy and very unknowable. And it's weird, like blind spot for me that I may have some theories about, but I don't have really a lot of clarity about,
[00:05:11] John: yeah, this is great. A great topic for us to work on with IFS. So I would say, let's start here and see where it takes us.
[00:05:20] John: You mentioned a part of you that has fears around like getting things done so that you can do the work that you want to do in the world. [00:05:30] As you think about that part, or even that, that sentiment, notice, can you notice what happens inside? Do you hear more from that part? Do you notice since sensations, where do you experience it in or around your body?
[00:05:47] Rachel: There's definitely a voice that's saying, saying something like that I can't I mustn't get it wrong. It's really afraid of me doing the thing and doing it wrong. There's more stuff. Should I just keep telling you?
[00:05:59] John: [00:06:00] Let's see if we can invite a bit of a conversation with the part that says you can't get it wrong.
[00:06:06] John: So I want you to see if you can kind of shift your focus inward and you can have eyes open or closed. It doesn't really matter, but I want you to see if you can ask it. Why can't I get it wrong? What's scary about getting it wrong? And see if you get an answer and really, really see if you can let the part answer[00:06:30]
[00:06:34] Rachel: I'll be laughed at.
[00:06:37] John: Yeah. And can you ask the part what would be bad about that?
[00:06:45] Rachel: There's this like there's a clenching in my stomach, twisting, twisting thing in my solar plexus, kind of from that area down.
[00:06:56] John: Yeah.
[00:06:59] John: [00:07:00] So if it feels right, you could put a hand there right where you feel that clenching.
[00:07:08] John: And I want you to try to just send a message from your hand. To the clenching something like I'm here or I'm listening. Can you tell me more and just see if you get anything?[00:07:30]
[00:07:46] Rachel: Getting a lot of it's showing me more and more of this thing that it's afraid of just how Devastated it would be if if I was mocked
[00:07:59] John: [00:08:00] Okay.
[00:08:03] John: If you're open to it, just keep going with that. Is it okay for this part to show you more about this whole image of being mocked, laughed at, this whole scene that it's playing out?
[00:08:21] Rachel: There's this,
[00:08:24] Rachel: I'm seeing my, I'm seeing my siblings, seeing my older brothers.
[00:08:28] Rachel: And
[00:08:29] Rachel: I'm seeing them [00:08:30] mocking each other and there's just this feeling of this unsafety, like, like a lot of emotional unsafety that's rooted in a lot of mocking, teasing, making fun of, and it feels like the next thing to happen is just complete rejection, like being rejected from the family unit.
[00:08:53] Rachel: And I'm not seeing it happening to me. I'm seeing it happening to specifically one of my brothers. It [00:09:00] really hurts. It's scary.
[00:09:03] John: Okay. Yeah. So I want you to keep going with that. And as you do that, try to identify which part is yours,
[00:09:18] John: which one is a part of you.
[00:09:19] Rachel: What does it mean that it's mine?
[00:09:22] John: So you can see your siblings. Do you also see you [00:09:30] or a version of you in that scene?
[00:09:32] Rachel: I'm,
[00:09:33] John: or yeah, is it kind of like the, the you today seeing this play out?
[00:09:38] Rachel: I can feel myself as, as the observer, like I'm in the scene, but as an observer, it's not happening to me, but I'm there.
[00:09:46] John: Yeah. Okay. And as you're there in the scene, can you tell me about how old you feel?
[00:09:59] Rachel: I'm four or [00:10:00] five.
[00:10:00] John: Yeah.
[00:10:06] John: So can, can you try to suss out for me if this is a four or five year old part of you in there in that scene with your siblings?
[00:10:22] Rachel: I think I know what you're asking and it feels distinctly, distinctly like it is.
[00:10:27] John: Yeah, I think it probably [00:10:30] is. So I want you to, if it's okay, go back into that scene just like you did. And I want you to see that four or five year old part. In this scene with your siblings, and then I want you to be there as well.
[00:10:49] John: So that's you as you are today. And then I want you to just check and see how you're feeling toward that four or five year old [00:11:00] part.
[00:11:08] Rachel: I feel a lot of trust, and I feel a lot of compassion towards her.
[00:11:14] John: Okay. So see if you can send her that. See if you can send that compassion from you directly to her and see if she can receive it. And if so, how she reacts.[00:11:30]
[00:11:50] Rachel: Feels hard to get her attention. Her attention is on what's happening. It's hard to get through to her to show her I'm there. [00:12:00]
[00:12:00] John: Okay. Got it. So I know this sounds a little strange. I want you just to ask internally if any parts have concerns about us getting to know her today or if parts have concerns about us interrupting this scene.[00:12:30]
[00:12:30] Rachel: There's something that feels like this part that
[00:12:42] Rachel: wants me to keep my attention scanning what's happening and not on How I'm feeling. That's secondary. I shouldn't put my attention off of what's happening. What's happening is important. What's happening outside of me, [00:13:00]
[00:13:01] John: meaning what's happening in the scene or what's happening.
[00:13:03] Rachel: Yeah.
[00:13:05] Rachel: Yeah. It's this part that's saying, don't take your attention off what's happening with your brothers.
[00:13:10] Rachel: Keep your attention on them.
[00:13:11] John: Okay. Yeah. Can you ask that part? What, what does it fear? What happened if you took your attention away? Even for a moment.
[00:13:24] John: And I should say all of this coming from your parts, they can either share it with [00:13:30] you privately. You don't actually have to tell me, or you can tell me if you want whatever feels right. And also we're aware that we're doing this work for the first time. This is being recorded. Just want to acknowledge those pieces as well.
[00:13:44] John: So the parts can also share with you stuff share stuff with you privately.
[00:13:51] Rachel: Thanks. So I'm checking, I'm checking with the part that's. What it's afraid that will happen if I take my attention off of what's happening with my brothers.[00:14:00]
[00:14:18] Rachel: It feels odd. I can't really, I can't really make sense of it intellectually. But what it's, what it's afraid will happen is it's afraid of some, that I'll get whacked on the [00:14:30] back of the head.
[00:14:32] John: Okay. Yeah. See, if you could just let the part know you get that, that fear of getting whacked on the back of the head.
[00:14:58] John: Can you ask this part? Is this the [00:15:00] part that helps protect the girl from being embarrassed or laughed at or made fun of?
[00:15:16] Rachel: It's, it's one of them. Yeah.
[00:15:19] John: Yeah.
[00:15:22] John: So I want you to turn your attention toward this one. and any other parts that [00:15:30] want to be known right now as well. Other protectors, we call them. And if it's okay, just have them share with you their thoughts, feelings, concerns, fears.
[00:15:49] Rachel: Can you repeat that instruction, please?
[00:15:51] John: Yeah. So invite this part and any other protector parts to share with you their concerns.[00:16:00] [00:16:30] [00:17:00]
[00:17:05] John: Yeah. I'm getting a few
[00:17:06] Rachel: things and I can go into the specifics because I, cause I heard different things. I think the The overarching kind of theme that keeps repeating is like strategizing so as not to feel invaded.
[00:17:25] John: Okay.[00:17:30]
[00:17:33] John: Yeah. Does that make sense to you?
[00:17:38] Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, it does.
[00:17:41] John: Okay. Yeah. Just let them know that that makes sense. And if you're open to hearing more, just try to kind of maintain a posture of listening and of curiosity toward these parts.
[00:17:55] Rachel: Yeah. You[00:18:00]
[00:18:01] John: might even invite them to sit down with you, whether it's at a table or On the ground on a blanket,[00:18:30]
[00:18:36] Rachel: there's sensing dissociation, like coming in and out of the scene.
[00:18:41] John: Yeah.
[00:18:46] John: So again, they can share with this with you privately. Can you ask, just generally ask inside which part is bringing on the dissociation?[00:19:00]
[00:19:04] Rachel: It's, oh, it's something like, it's kind of similar, maybe some, something related to the part that didn't want me to. The younger me to feel the older me, it's some part of me that doesn't want me to be like feeling useful and cared for emotionally.
[00:19:20] John: Okay. Yeah. This sounds important.[00:19:30]
[00:19:30] John: So I want you to focus on that part and see if you can flesh it out a little more for yourself. Just try to notice how you experience this part. What does it look like? Sound like you can ask it how old it is.[00:20:00]
[00:20:00] Rachel: Yeah, I can see it. It's it's various shades of gray, dark gray. And it's got this like it's kind of like this machine made of these like grinding wheels, sort of thing. They're all kind of pointy, pointy.
[00:20:17] John: Yeah.
[00:20:18] Rachel: And so it keeps grinding and, yeah. I don't remember what else you asked about it other than how it looks.
[00:20:26] John: Yeah. Is it willing to interact with you a bit?[00:20:30]
[00:20:51] Rachel: Yeah.
[00:20:54] John: How are you feeling toward it?
[00:20:58] Rachel: I feel [00:21:00] this weird feeling like it's, I'm, I'm, I'm a little like sick of it and annoys me, but I also feel pretty friendly. Like it's very familiar to me. And I have access to, to how much it wants, you know, what's in my best interest, like it's, it's wanting good things for me.
[00:21:26] Rachel: I can really feel it. So I can't bring myself to [00:21:30] really be angry or upset at it or want it to go away. It's just maybe like a little bit of pity. Like, like a neighbor's dog was just like barking and upset. And you're like, Oh man, like, I wish you had a better life. This looks really intense.
[00:21:43] John: Hmm. Okay.
[00:21:48] John: So the, the part that's annoyed at this part, you can turn toward that one. You can ask it for a little space if it's willing to, to soften back, [00:22:00] to give you a little space to work with the other one, with the dark gray one. And if it's willing to do that, just think the part for giving you space.
[00:22:15] Rachel: Yeah, I can do that.
[00:22:16] John: Yeah. Great. And then turn back toward the gray part and that understanding. I want you just to send that. That [00:22:30] understanding that even that sense of appreciation for what it's doing and why it does it
[00:22:39] John: just send that directly to the part and see how it reacts.[00:23:00]
[00:23:24] Rachel: Feeling this some easing of some tension in my belly.
[00:23:28] John: Yeah.
[00:23:29] Rachel: Part [00:23:30] is. It's still doing its thing, but it feels like pieces of it are kind of falling away a little bit.
[00:23:38] John: It's not as
[00:23:39] Rachel: hard.
[00:23:44] John: Yeah, great. Just keep going with that.
[00:23:56] John: The main thing for you is just to keep accessing curiosity [00:24:00] toward all this[00:24:30] [00:25:00]
[00:25:16] John: and what's happening now.
[00:25:22] Rachel: This
[00:25:25] Rachel: feels like with the, with the part and showing it more of that love and [00:25:30] understanding and good wishes for it. And I would really just be with it and see it. It feels like it's softening and becoming less like tight and grindy. And then every once in a while I would kind of like. Bounce off and just kind of go off into like a thought and then I would notice that I bounced off and I would kind of gently come back and that that happened a few times.
[00:25:53] Rachel: Maybe it happened two or three times in the last couple of minutes that we've been doing this.
[00:25:57] Rachel: Yeah, so mostly me just [00:26:00] doing my best to keep my attention on this part and sending it this. These feelings.
[00:26:06] John: Great. Yeah.
[00:26:12] John: Okay, great. So, another option, these are all just options that I'm going to offer you, is you could ask the part if it wants to tell you about how it got this job. I'm[00:26:30] [00:27:00]
[00:27:04] Rachel: kind of like we're searching together for the source of it.
[00:27:10] John: Great. You can both be curious about the source or another way to go about it is to ask it about the first time this happened the first time where it felt like it needed to. Do its job or to turn on the [00:27:30] dissociation.
[00:27:33] John: You're the first time or the most recent time. I[00:28:00]
[00:28:02] Rachel: can't recall a specific memory, but it feels like a through line of a lot of my childhood is just seeing that emotional tenderness is not rewarded. And, and other things are things that are like rougher and more biting that seems to be rewarded.
[00:28:21] John: Okay. So rather than try to recall a memory on your own, [00:28:30] I want you to really try to ask the part to communicate with you what's most important to share with you.
[00:28:39] John: It's yeah. To the part and asking the part to. if it wants to share about its story and how it came to be, how it got this job.[00:29:00]
[00:29:14] Rachel: It's saying that we got it from our mom, from my mom. And it doesn't know, it doesn't know where she got it from, but she gave it to us.
[00:29:28] John: Okay. [00:29:30] Yeah.
[00:29:38] John: So again, this is just an option. One option would be to invite your mom here and to ask her where she got it from, if that's important. Another option would be just to ask the part about. It's fears around not doing this. What if it stopped doing this? Or [00:30:00] what if it did it less feel?
[00:30:05] Rachel: I have this feeling like I'm like, I'm being squashed like a bug. Like, if I don't do this thing, I'm being squashed. And it's not it's not a physical fear. Like, I'm like, it feels somatic. Like, I feel somatically this fear. But it's not like I'm really, literally afraid someone is going to come and I don't even know how he would squash someone, but something like that.
[00:30:26] Rachel: But it's this, it's this feeling like, gotta like, gotta [00:30:30] like have this hard, hard armor and project that armor out so no one squashes us.
[00:30:38] John: Yeah. Do you mean you're feeling some of that fear right now, that fear of being squashed right now?
[00:30:46] Rachel: I have access to that fear, but I don't, I'm not afraid in this moment.
[00:30:51] John: Okay. All right.
[00:30:54] Rachel: I can tell that this part is afraid of this. I'm terrified.
[00:30:59] John: [00:31:00] Okay
[00:31:00] Rachel: of being soft.
[00:31:03] John: Yeah, okay I would just keep going there and as much or as little as the part is ready to share with you Around its fears of being squashed or its fears around what what can go wrong if we are too soft again, the part can You can share with me out loud what it says.
[00:31:26] John: It can also just share that with you privately.[00:31:30]
[00:31:36] Rachel: I just keep seeing these scenes, the same scenes that we kind of started on where one of my brothers is just being emotionally, like totally squashed by his older brothers. And, and me being afraid that that's going to happen to me. And he was,
[00:31:53] John: he
[00:31:54] Rachel: was very emotional and he was, he was being tormented and it just felt [00:32:00] very scary.
[00:32:01] John: Okay, got it. Is Is the gray part that we've been talking to interested in coming with us to go back and talk to the little girl?
[00:32:25] Rachel: I'm feeling a little hesitant to take it to her because [00:32:30] it's, it's kind of a rough part. What would it say that wasn't really rough?
[00:32:36] John: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:32:41] John: Do you get a sense that the little girl needs our help?[00:33:00]
[00:33:01] Rachel: Yes.
[00:33:03] John: She's
[00:33:04] Rachel: misunderstanding.
[00:33:06] John: Okay. So one option is going to be to go back into that scene as you are today. and freeze that scene to pause everyone else except her and to be there with her and help her understand and process what's going on. But I would only want to do that if no other [00:33:30] parts have issue with us doing that.
[00:33:32] John: So again, you just want to go back and kind of ask inside if any protector parts have concerns around us doing that today.
[00:33:42] Rachel: Yeah. Say again what we're going to be doing. We're going to go back to her.
[00:33:49] John: We would freeze the scene and help her understand what's going on or help her process what's going on. Or we could pull her out of there if she wants to come out of there [00:34:00] entirely and come with you. I think we're
[00:34:02] Rachel: gonna need to pull her out of there and then we can do that.
[00:34:06] John: Okay, great. So again, just ask inside if any protectors have concerns with us doing that.
[00:34:23] Rachel: Only the, only that one with the grinding wheels. That doesn't want her to stop tracking her [00:34:30] environment.
[00:34:31] John: Okay. Yeah. So ask that. It doesn't
[00:34:36] Rachel: feel as aggressive as it was before, but it's, it's still there. Doing that.
[00:34:43] John: Yeah, still concerned. Ask that part. If we were to pull it out, if we were to pull her out of that scene, would it be okay with that?
[00:34:53] John: Or would it be less concerned about the need to scan the environment?[00:35:00]
[00:35:07] Rachel: Yeah, it's, it's still suspicious because it says that we're gonna, it knows that we're going to be like making her. It's afraid we're going to be making her soft. And then once she's back in that scene, she's going to be soft.
[00:35:24] John: Okay. I asked the part, what, what if she didn't have to go back there?[00:35:30]
[00:35:34] John: Is that something it would be interested in?
[00:35:48] Rachel: Yeah. Then it feels okay.
[00:35:51] John: Yeah. Okay. So then with this part's permission, I want you to [00:36:00] go to that little girl,
[00:36:06] John: and if you can, I just want you to start by making her aware of you. Again, I want you to freeze that scene with your siblings in it,
[00:36:18] John: and if you can position yourself somewhere that she can see you, and I want you just to, again, take, kind of take the posture of care and [00:36:30] concern, or the posture almost like you would take if you were encountering an animal that's really scared, and just see how she reacts to you.[00:37:00]
[00:37:06] Rachel: Feels friendly.
[00:37:08] John: Okay.
[00:37:13] John: Yeah, and how are you feeling toward her?
[00:37:19] John: A lot of love. Okay, so send that to her. See how she reacts.[00:37:30] [00:38:00]
[00:38:06] Rachel: Feels really good.
[00:38:13] John: So I just want you to offer her this option. Well, a couple options. One is to
[00:38:21] John: be there with her in that moment. With this scene frozen. And, Help her understand what's going on, help her [00:38:30] process what's going on. She can do that there. The other option is to come with you out of that scene and into the present, into your life today, into the room that you're in right now. It's really up to her.
[00:38:47] Rachel: She wants to come to the present.
[00:38:49] John: Okay. Okay. So I want you to go and bring her all the way into the present. And again, that might be in that room that you're in right now. [00:39:00] It might be into an imaginary place in the present. It could be somewhere outside. It could be somewhere in your body. See if again, it just let her choose.[00:39:30]
[00:39:36] Rachel: Yeah. She's in the room.
[00:39:39] John: So now that she's here, just ask her what, what she wants your help with. Does she want to tell you about what just happened with her siblings? Does she need your help in understanding what happened? Does she just want to do something entirely different and [00:40:00] not talk about it?
[00:40:11] John: She's really enjoying
[00:40:12] Rachel: just having the space. And it kind of goes back to like fear of being invaded or having something done to her like Energetically feeling like so everything coming from every direction. So
[00:40:26] John: she
[00:40:26] Rachel: feels really good about just kind of [00:40:30] You know relaxing
[00:40:32] John: away. Okay, great. Yeah, what a relief just let her know she can hang out here and relax away from it one option is to see if You can offer her anything in the form of comfort like food or something to drink or a toy or a blanket.[00:41:00]
[00:41:02] Rachel: Yeah, a blanket.
[00:41:05] John: Yeah, so offer her that and see how she reacts.
[00:41:14] Rachel: She's happy.[00:41:30]
[00:41:35] John: Yeah.
[00:41:48] John: Another option is to ask her is there anything she wants to let go of, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, anything that's inside of her. That she doesn't want to carry anymore, [00:42:00] or does she just want to be here with you? She
[00:42:27] Rachel: wants to let go of this [00:42:30] fear.
[00:42:34] John: Yeah. Okay. So I want you to ask her how she wants to do it. Sometimes parts like to get rid of it using one of the elements. Like does she want to use, yeah, water or fire or air? Does she want to bury it?[00:43:00]
[00:43:12] Rachel: She wants to put it in the toilet.
[00:43:15] John: Okay. All right. So help her do that. And I want you to be with her until she's gotten rid of as much as she wants to. As much as she's ready to whatever percentage that is[00:43:30]
[00:43:30] John: and let me know when that's done. That's done.[00:44:00]
[00:44:13] John: Okay. So then just ask her if she wants to replace that with anything, any new qualities.[00:44:30] [00:45:00]
[00:45:23] Rachel: It's it's a kind of it's fierceness.
[00:45:27] John: Mm hmm.[00:45:30]
[00:45:32] John: Yeah. Great.
[00:45:38] John: So help her invite in that fierceness, seeing, see it, take its plate, take the place of where that fear was and see how she changes.
[00:45:58] John: You might even see if she wants to [00:46:00] kind of act out her fierceness with you to try it on
[00:46:08] John: to show it to you. Yeah.
[00:46:11] Rachel: Yeah. She's already doing it.
[00:46:13] John: Yeah.[00:46:30]
[00:46:30] John: Yeah.
[00:46:36] John: So then I just want you to ask her where she wants to settle, whether that's exactly where she is now, if she wants to settle in a real place in your life or where you live or somewhere in your body or somewhere imaginary, it's totally up to her.
[00:46:57] Rachel: What does that mean? Settle?
[00:46:59] John: [00:47:00] Just where she wants to stay.
[00:47:01] John: Yeah. Where she wants to be Since she's here with you and the president now and not back there. Where we took her from,
[00:47:10] Rachel: Where
[00:47:10] John: we brought her from somewhere
[00:47:11] Rachel: in my body.
[00:47:13] John: Could be somewhere in your body, could be somewhere in a house or apartment that you live in. Could be somewhere imaginary, like somewhere outside or a room of her own.
[00:47:29] John: [00:47:30] It's really up to her. See if you can just give her some options.
[00:47:56] Rachel: Yeah. I made her a place in my left hand. Great.[00:48:00]
[00:48:08] John: Yeah. So just notice what that's like.[00:48:30]
[00:48:30] John: Yeah.
[00:48:35] John: Just notice the shifting. Notice the letting go.[00:49:00]
[00:49:02] John: Yeah.
[00:49:26] John: Okay.[00:49:30]
[00:49:42] John: So we got a couple minutes left as a follow up with her for the next 21 days. I just want you to check in on her once a day. See how she's doing. See if she's still here in your left hand with her new fierceness.[00:50:00]
[00:50:04] John: So that's what I want you to do as, as a follow up to help integrate what we just did.
[00:50:13] John: Yeah.
[00:50:17] John: Great. Thank you.
[00:50:27] John: Anything you want to we'll debrief for a [00:50:30] few minutes after I stopped the recording. If you want anything else you want to say before we hit stop on the recording.
[00:50:40] Rachel: Just thank you. This was really lovely.
[00:50:43] John: Great. You're so welcome. Thank you for doing it. Thanks for listening to another episode of Going Inside.
[00:50:50] John: If you enjoyed this episode, please like and subscribe wherever you're listening or watching and share your favorite episode with a friend. You can follow me on Instagram, @JohnClarkeTherapy and apply to work with me one on one at JohnClarkeTherapy. com. See you next time.
Download my Free IFS Meditation:
https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/free
Connect with me:
https://www.instagram.com/johnclarketherapy/